Life Sucks, Then you Die. (Rick and Morty x reader [platonic])

Lawnmower dog (Part 5, Finale)

       "You're putting too much pressure on yourself, scary Terry. You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is." Rick placed a comforting hand on Scary Terry's shoulder, trying to make him feel better.
       "Hey, yo, scary T., don't even trip about your pants dawg." Morty said.
       "Yeah, here's a pair on us fool" I handed Scary Terry a pair of gray pants.
       "Aww, bitch. I don't know what to say." I draped the pants on Scary Terry's sword finger and he stood up, putting them on. I was kind of expecting that to go worse, like a lot of accidentally stabbing holes in the pants, and ripping, and stuff.
       "You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg." Morty said.
       "You're our boy, dog. Don't even trip." Wrapped his arms around the four of us and pulled us close to him.
       "Yeah man! Don't even trip, dawg!" I said to Scary Terry, who seems significantly less scared. He stood up and hugged us all.
       We all wake up from Scary Terry's dream. Scary Terry blinked his eyes open and looked at us with a calm smile, Morty and I waved."Oh, hey, it's you guys!" He invited us to breakfast and exchange some words with the whole Terry family. Mellisa made coffee for us all, which was nice and warm.
       "I haven't seen him this relaxed in years." His wife said. I'm not gonna lie, the way they all looked was kinda growing on me! Their baby was adorable, that much I knew for sure.
       "If you guys ever need anything, just say the word." Scary Terry held Rick's shoulder. That's super nice to be honest, I wasn't expecting this kind of compassion from a walking testicle.
       "As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with." Rick explained our situation in detail, we concocted a quick plan to get Morty and I better grade and not die. None of this really mattered if we were just going to die anyways.
       Back in the dream of the centaur, Rick, Morty, and I were hanging onto Scary Terry's back. My shoulder was still dripping blood, I flinched at the puddle on the floor and watched my hands shake. "I always hated that song!" Scary Terry cut off the little girl's head and she gasped as she woke up. My shoulder miraculously healed, and we move on to the centaur. |
       "These halves don't belong together, bitch!" Scary Terry swiped at the centaur and his human half and his horse half separated easily.
       Next was Mrs.Pancake's dream. "Sex is sacred!"
       Finally we rocket launch ourselves at Mr.Goldenfold. "This is because you don't give the Smith kids good grades, bitch!"
       Mr.Goldenfold wakes up from his dream sounding quite shook. "Holy crap! God damn! I know one thing for sure I'm giving Morty an A in math, and that's my idea. That is an original thought." We do a weird triple fist bump thing from behind the couch, and climb into the space ship.
       We fly above our house and see walking dogs, so many walking dogs, and not just Snuffles wearing a headpiece, at least a dozen hyper intelligent dogs in stilts and with long robotic arms. "What the hell?" Morty says.
       "Out of the frying pan, dot dot dot, huh, guys."
       "No really Rick, what the hell!?" I yelled from the back seat. Leaning forward to get a better view of the front lawn.
       "Well it's possible your dog became self aware and made modifications on the cognitions amplifier. Then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanities cruel subjugation of it's species, but your guess is as good as mine." Rick quote, unquote 'guessed', he clearly knew that's exactly what happened.
       We climbed behind a bush close to where the rest of my family is leashed to a metal pole. "I can't believe how mean Snuffles got just because he's smart. This is why I choose to get C's." Yeah choose, sure Summer...
       "Beth, Jerry, Summer." Rick took a 'ricks' (ricks, risk, get it?) by calling out to them.
       "Dad!" Mom whisper-shouted,
       "Rick!" Jerry said, thankful that we were back to save his ass. The dogs all walked back inside he house and we came out from inside the bush. Rick burned off the collars starting with Summer "Oh thank god Morty!" Summer said running up to Morty and hugging him. He seemed horrified at the thought of her *ahem* lady bits, in his face.
       "Uh, you're welcome." Morty replied desperate to get out of that hug.
       The whole family walked over and Rick said, "Alright let's get out of here," he gulps as he takes a swig of the liquor in his flask, "if we hurry we can set up camp in the sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over." I cocked an eyebrow at that proposition. There were definitely more things we could do, like... stop the incoming dog invasion before it had the chance to even get that bad.
       "Whoa, whoa whoa." Your dad started. "We're not going anywhere, this is my house. I'm not abandoning it." Jerry said, at least when we decided to stop the dog takeover I would have the satisfaction of knowing that Jerry did absolutely nothing to help.
       "It's all over, Jerry. the dogs are on a path to total world domination, but hey! At least they know not to piss or your carpet, right!" Rick said, beginning to yell.
      "Wait! I have an idea." Whoa, I'm honestly impressed I didn't realized he even had a brain. It's a miracle that he could speak at all! Jerry walked up to the door and into the house "*ahem* Gentlemen, a moment of your time." Jerry proceeded to unzip his pants and pee all over their guns. Oh my god. We're all going to die, Jerry just fucking killed us.
       "See that? I'm peeing all over your special guns, that means I own them." Then he PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS AND TRIED TO SHIT. Snuffles walked over to him and pushed his face into his pee. "Bad person, bad!" Cosmic irony, I was never prouder of Snuffle's than I was now, shoving Jerry's face into the living room carpet.
       We all walked in and watched as Jerry got his ass kicked by our family dog. "ooh, great plan, Jerry." Rick said sarcastically.
       "Bring the children to me." Snuffles sat on the families blue couch, there was a yellow, and a green dog beds next to him. Morty and I got taken over to him by two dogs.
       "You were always kind to me, kids. That's why I will leave your genitalia. From now on you will be my best friends and live by my side." Morty smiled, looks like kind of enjoying the company of the family dog came in handy.
       "Th-thanks Snuffles." Morty said.
       "Yeah, heh, thanks." You and Morty walked to two dog beds beside Snuffles and sat down on either side of him. Snuffles pat both of our heads.
       "Begin, phase two!" He said.