Life Sucks, Then you Die. (Rick and Morty x reader [platonic])

Ricksy Business (Part 3, Finale)

       Morty, Lincler, Summer's friend who I learned was named Nancy and I walked through the planet. It was mostly blues and purples, the "grass" was the colour of a hospital room and the... bulbous things that stuck out of the ground were either pink or purple. They had plants on them that looked like a mixture of a tree a mushroom and a tulip. (The only reason I knew what tulip was, was because I play a lot of animal crossing, I wasn't super into earth science, more astro-physics and chemistry).
       "It's weird, 'cause I definitely think that all men are created equal. But, at the same time --" The entire walk Lincler had been talking about how much he was indifferent to certain... types of people... while also thinking at the same time that there were types of people that were way inferior. He hadn't actually name-dropped, but I had to assume he meant Jewish people. I kept my gaze firmly on the blinking light on the detector doohickey (a phrase which Rick resented).
       It started blinking rapidly which I used to make Lincler shut up. "Okay! That's great and all Lincler, but the crystals are like. S-Super close by." We were only 10 minutes out from where the house was, so the walk back shouldn't be too hard.
       Nancy pointed ahead at pink crystals that I'd somehow not seen. Morty, Nancy and I all ran over to collect some of the crystals. "Wait. Something's not right." Morty and Nancy had stopped walking, but I decided to harvest the crystals anyways, we'd need them whether or not there wasn't something 'not right'.
       A huge, two headed, purple dog/lion pounced at Lincler. I worked double time to cut chunks off the bigger crystals. "Get the crystals! I'll handle the beast!" Lincler put a tophat on. "Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!" Lincler grabbed the alien and threw tackled it away from us. I grab my fist-full of crystals and put them into the bag Morty had brought.
       "Morty the gun! Give me the gun!" He tossed the gun to me and I caught it out of the air, running behind the rock that Lincler had thrown the alien behind. He had blood all over his face and clothes, a deep gash stretching across his chest. Lincler had him in a headlock and my hands shook while I aimed. I shot once and immediately knew I would miss, so I re-positioned my arm and shot again, hitting it square in the forehead.
       Lincler collapsed against a rock. "You saved our lives Lincler, you won't be dying in vain." He wasn't a good person, but he was only kind of anti-semetic which was better than most of America. Lincler grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled me forward, whispering in my ear.
       Morty ran around the rock and lifted me from Lincler's arms. Who was no longer breathing. His blood was on my hands and shirt, making my skin tingle uncomfortably. "Are you okay!?" He looked me over, freaking out over the amount of blood on my sweater. I wiped the blood off my hands on my sides and tossed the sweater next to Lincler's body.
       "He saved my life. I'm fine." Morty exhaled loudly and we walked away."
       We ran back to the house, all of us afraid of being attacked by another monster. Nancy would just be useless, I couldn't shoot for shit right now, so the only useful person in this situation would have been Morty. It wasn't bad, since Morty was a good fighter and could get us away in a pinch, but he couldn't protect all three of us forever.
       We opened the door and ran into the living room. "Rick, we got them! We got the crystals!" Morty handed rick the bag of kalaxian crystals and he walked to the couch with them, spreading them across the coffee table.
       "Rick, wait! There's something you need to know. We couldn't have done this without Lincler." The three of us teared up and I put a hand onto Morty's shoulder. "He said that he was really sorry and that he loves you like a father. It's awful that he had to die for this, but he saved my life." I said. Rick frowned
       "Well, at least he didn't die in vain. He got these crystals." Rick cut them into a fine powder with his credit card. I was still so shocked that Lincler died for drugs. Literally died for drugs. Rick snorted the dust and a blue film covered his eyes. "And these babies just saved this lame-ass party! Wubba, lubba, dub, dub! Play something. Somebody, play something." Rick waved his hands desperately. A giant walking speaker pressed a button, playing a beat.
       "Wait a minute. What? Did you know about this?" Morty looked at me angrily, I just shrugged and joined the ever growing crowd of people behind Rick.
       "♪Put your right foot forward ♪ ♪ and your left foot back ♪ ♪ then fucking slide around ♪ ♪ like on a nordictrack! ♪" He sang, people started dancing behind him, joining him while he slid around the living room. "♪ Move to the left ♪ ♪ step to the right ♪ ♪ wiggle your elbows, and look ♪ ♪ up into the light! ♪" I slid forward on my knees like Zac Efron in High School Musical.
       "♪ It's the, it's the ♪ ♪ it's the Rick dance ♪ ♪ it's the, it's the ♪ ♪ it's the Rick dance. ♪" People around us bobbed their heads while Rick and I sang.
       "Slow Mobius, hit me with the clock beam!" Slow Mobius used his magic clock wands to fuck with time, and make Rick's dance look cool.
       "♪ It's the, it's the ♪ ♪ it's the Rick dance! ♪" The dance finished and everyone in the living room cheered.
       "That's the Rick dance! All right! [burp] Whoa, man!" Rick smiled and I stood up next to him, we high-fived. (Pun intended).
       "What the hell was that?! I thought those crystals were supposed to help us get home or something!" Morty yelled and gestured at Rick and I.
       "What? No, no, no. I can get us home whenever I want to. But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them? I'm starting to come down, Morty." Rick's sclera went back to it's normal off-white. "Crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high." He itched his face, kalax was kind of like meth actually.
       Morty grabbed the crystals off the table and threw them out out the open back door. One of the aliens grabbed the bag and shoved it into it's hole. "That's what I think of your crystals! I can't believe you'd l-let him do this, (Y/N)!" Morty yelled, balling his hands into fists at his sides.
        "Oh, Morty, you idiot! Does anybody else have any more k-lax? B-birdperson?" Birdperson shrugged, Summers friend Tammy was sitting on his lap, kinda nasty, I'm into it. "Uh, Squanchy?"
       "Don't squanch at me." I looked past Morty and saw an alien doing the Rick dance in the 'backyard', the blue tint to it's eyes showing that it was high, kinda funny actually. Like when you gave a cat catnip or something.
       "All right, everybody, party is officially over! Rick, take us home now." Morty said, I'd never actually seen him this angry in a long time. Or at least not at me, it felt kinda bad.
       "Hey, I kinda see how it works, I'll fix it for you Rick." Hopefully this would make Morty less mad, cleaning up someone else's mess. My hands were shaking as I sobered up. "Could you get me a Coffee Morty?" He stormed into the kitchen and I went into Rick's garage.
       The teleporter's external field was down, an easy fix.
       I walked to the kitchen and met Morty halfway there. He handed me a coffee and I took a sip. Completely black, ew. "I d-don't know if you noticed, since you're shit-faced," wow, he swore, he must be mad. "but we're not off planet yet." I frowned.
       "I just needed a bowl for the... for the thingy." I waved my free hand vaguely in the air. Mort scoffed and walked into the kitchen, giving me a large ceramic bowl.
      We walked back into the garage and I put the bowl on top of where the glass once was. The forcefield retracted through us again and we popped back onto Earth. Morty left the garage to ensure everyone left and I sipped my coffee. My hands were shaking, and now that I noticed it, I had a raging headache. It felt like someone took an axe to the inside my brain and just twisted and hacked at every molecule of my being.
        I groaned and walked into the living room, Rick was lying on the couch and I curled up in a ball on the floor. "Ughhhhhhh." Morty was walking around the house cleaning shit up, I would have helped if I didn't feel like being swallowed up by the hole aliens from the shitty planet we were just on.
       "Wow. We are so screwed." Summer said from somewhere above or underneath me.
       The floor was exceptionally cool today.
      "(Y/N), Rick, wake up." Summer shoved me with her foot and I nearly puked all over her stupid shoes.
       "F-Fuck off Summer."
       "Rick, you got to do something quick. My parents are home." Morty said, anxiety rose in my chest, but the most I could make myself do was sit up against the couch and squint forward at the blank TV screen.
       "Augh. Uh, all -- all right." Rick sat up and I handed him a glass of water that was on the coffee table. "All right. Hold -- hold on." He drank loudly from the glass, it felt like it was right next to my ear, like ASMR torture. "Ahh! So good, this is why (Y/N) is my favourite Grandchild." Would have felt proud of that if it was true, but this was the ramblings of someone who was competent.
       "Rick, they're- they're coming up the driveway. I pointed out of the window which was mostly just bright blurry shapes, but among those shapes were Mom and Jerry shaped shapes.
       "Bring me the thing." Summer walked to the driveway.
       "What -- what thing?" Morty asked.
       Rick rubbed his forehead and focused. "The thing. The thing. The -- the -- it's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it. It -- it -- it beeps."
       "Rick! That describes everything in your garage!" I punched Morty's shin, talking hurt, but yelling was a cosmic no-no.
       Summer ran back with a blinking thingy in her hand. "Do you mean this?" Rick grabbed the blinking thing from her hand and pressed a button. A wave of orange light swept through me and I felt my stomach swing.  "All right, that should do it."
       "Whoa! What did you do?" Morty asked, I grabbed his ankle, a silent plea for his to shut the fuck up.
      "Uh, s-see for yourself." Morty extended his hand which I grabbed, he pulled me up and I only swayed on my feet for like, 2 seconds, before we walked outside. The light burned and swelled, but I could see that Mom and Jerry were frozen in the driveway.
       "Oh that's so c-cool." I said, punching Jerry firmly in the arm. He'd feel that when time moved again.
       "Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time. Yeah, and slow mobius thinks he's all that." Rick leaned against the doorframe, he speech was still slurred and slightly slower than normal.
       "For how long?" Summer waved her face in Jerry's face, he didn't do anything, obviously he literally couldn't do anything.
       "I don't know. How long do you guys want? A week? A month?"
       "Can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel?"
       After literally the best week of my life, the house was clean. Summer, Morty, Rick, and I had all done some stupid shit, flinging paint at eachother, stealing TVs, carving pumpkins, even cleaning the house had been fun. I was the least stressed I had been since starting up my new classes and it felt fantastic. Right now, we were watching Titanic, a movie that none of us had ever seen, but Jerry loved. At least now we could make fun of him for it.
       "Worst movie ever."
       "Dumb."
       "People like this shit?" Rick, Summer, and I said.
       "Ooh, boy, what a waste of time." The family laughed at Morty's joke. "Get it? You know, 'cause it's frozen." I slapped Morty on the back and smiled.
        "This has been the best month I've had since that time I ran from home and lived with the squirrels. Almost starved to death, but it was pretty cool." They started at me. Morty and Summer knew that I ran away, but I never really told them why or what happened.
       "Yeah we-we're gonna talk about that later." Rick grumbled.
       "Hey, Rick. You know, this whole time, I haven't once heard you say that "wubba lubba dub dub" thing that you usually say." I didn't know what that meant or what Morty was talking about. But if he felt compelled to bringing it up then it must've been important.
       "Don't need to. I have a [burp] new catchphrase." Rick put an arm over Morty and I. "I love my grandkids!" The four of us hug.
       Rick jumped out of the hug and stuck up the middle finger. "Psych! Just kidding -- my new catchphrase is, "I don't give a fuck"." Rick turns in the stereo and we all danced dumbly on the lawn.
       "That's the end, motherfucker! "I don't give a fuck" is my new catchphrase! Fuck you! That's season one! Boom! Season one up in your face, motherfucker! Yeah!"
        "Season one took fuckin'-fuckin ages to write! But it was worth it! It was worth it guys! Makes me happy and now I feel like my life has worth and I've made a impact on the Earth!"
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Word Count- 2358

That's a wrap on season one y'all! I'd like to thank everyone for reading and making my life feel just a bit more meaningful. I'm deeply scared that when I die my life will have meant nothing, but seeing people actually enjoy my shit makes me feel a lot less worthless. Love y'all 💕💕