Life Sucks, Then you Die. (Rick and Morty x reader [platonic])

Meeseeks and Destroy (Part 1)

The sky is a beautiful shade of purple, bubbling clouds rolled across the sky.
That would all be relevent if we weren't running from demonic clones of my family, who were all trying to kill us.
They tackled Rick to floor and the... and the... was that a floppy disc? Christ where's my head at? That's not important right now! The hard drive is thrown towards Morty and I, Morty picks it up. "Morty, hit the button!" I yelled at him running to help Rick. I tackled, Jerry bringing him to the ground in a wrestling match on the floor, with me as the probable loser.
"I can't do it, (Y/N)! They're our parents and sister!" OH JESUS HE'S GOT MY ARM.
"Morty, I already told you, it's not your family! They're clones from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future! Do you need a mnemonic device or something? Just hit the button already!" Rick yelled, fighting off the rest of the family. Is this where I die?
"Goddammit, Morty! You, have to hit the button, Morty come on!" I shouted, Jerry bit directly into my shoulder, drawing blood. I screamed and the entire demonic family melted away grotesquely, and into Rick's dumb box, I'm not entirely sure what is was.
Morty fell over, looking sick. I extended my hand to help him up."Good work, Morty." Rick praised, he pretty much ignored my hand in it while he shot a portal.
We end up in the garage and Morty pukes in the corner, I rubbed his back firmly damn he just kept puking, there was so much. "Y-You know, these demonic alien spirits are really valuable!" Rick ranted, not realizing that Morty is puking up an abnormal amount of his stomach. "You okay, Morty? Told you not to trust that tuna."
"He just watched his family melt give him a break man!" I shouted at Rick, Morty kept puking up his stomach.
"I dunno, (Y/N). Some people would pay top dollar for that kinda breakthrough." Jeez, he must have some serious daddy issues, it would explain a lot.
Y-You know what, Rick? That's it! I-I'm done with these... insane adventures! That was really traumatizing! I quit! I'm out!" Morty turned and walked out of the garage. I loved Rick, but I loved Morty more.
"Whoa whoa whoa," he grabbed me and Morty's shoulders, stopping us in our trans. "Come on! D-D-Don't be like that! The universe is a crazy and chaotic place!" No shit, Rick. But that doesn't mean that we have to kill exact replicas of our parents! That's fucked up man!
"You're the one that's crazy and chaotic! Adventures are supposed to be simple! And fun!" Morty yelled at him. Just let us leave, Rick out of all people should know we'd come back eventually.
"Oh yeah, Morty. Yeah, t-t-that- that's real easy to say from the sidekick position. But—But, uh, h-how about next time you be in charge, then we'll talk about how simple and fun it is." Wait one gosh-diddly-osh-darn second here.
"Wait, so you'll let us call the shot's on an adventure?" I asked, this is going to be great. There's a fantasy dimension that I know Rick will hate. He really hates lame cheesy stuff like that.
"Okay, fine. But let's make it interesting. I-I-If your adventure sucks, and we bail halfway through it, you both lose the right to bitch about all future adventures. Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month. No, two months, one month per pain in my ass." That fucking sucks, I do not want to do his laundry. Who knows where his fucking clothes have been.
"Okay, all right, tough guy! But if our adventure's good... we get to be in charge of every third adventure!" Morty debated.
"Every 15th." Rick tested, no that wasn't enough for the bullshit Morty and I put up with every day.
"Every 10th." I opposed, that's around 3 a month.
"Deal. All right. Well, come on, let's get going." I was just about to ask for the portal gun, when the family walked in.
"Dad, the dishwasher's doing the thing again." Mom said, she's going to have to be more specific than that, is it growing potatoes or has it exploded? Either of those things could be happening with Rick in your life.
"Washing dishes?" Rick asked, what a smart ass.
"No. The opposite. Can you fix it?" I mean he probably could, but we have a sick as fuck adventure to go on!
"Grandpa Rick, can you help me with my science homework?" Ughhhh nooooo, at this rate we're never going to get on that adventure.
"Yeah just don't do it." Jesus, she had to do it or her teacher will give her shit. Which is stupid in my eyes, if we can't play movies at school, then we shouldn't bring work home.
"Grandpa!" Summer said, angrily.
"Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device that can open this mayonnaise jar?" Jerry asked, well friend there's this thing that exists called a, and get this, a hand.
"Wow. Hat trick. All right, guys, let's put a pin in this. I got to help your pathetic family." Damn it, stupid family (literally).
"That sounds like something a chicken would say." I said, maybe if Rick felt like he was backing out, Morty made chicken noises to back me up.
"Oh, (Y/N), you done did it this time. It's on. I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart. As for you dingdongs..." Rick pulled something from off the shelf.
"This is a Meeseeks box. Let me show you how it works. You press this." Rick pressed a big blue button that was on the top of the box. A blue... man? Came out of the box. it really had no defining features, I guess it's hands looked like mittens but that's about it.
"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" It yelled.
"Hey it's voice is almost as high as Morty's. Heyooo!" I said punching Morty maybe a bit to hard on the shoulder.
"Aw jeez..."
"You make a request. Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar." Rick commanded the Meeseeks.
"Yes, siree!" It said, I wonder if Meeseeks had genders, well... I guess they are MR. Meeseeks. It grabbed the mayonnaise while Rick explained
"The Meeseeks fulfills the request." He opened the mayo jar, and handed it back to Jerry.
"All done!" It yells, do they all yell?
"Wow!" Jerry said, clearly amazed, not that it took much.
"And then it stops existing." Oh... oh no. The Meeseeks vanishes into particles, am I inhaling Meeseeks right now?
"Oh, my God, he exploded!" Very good, Summer! Your family must be very proud, oh, wait, I could tell you with 100% certainty they weren't.
"Trust me, they're fine with it. Knock yourselves out just keep your requests simple. They're not gods."
I bet they're going to fuck something up, at least Jerry is. "All right! Get out of here now! Everybody out of here! I got a bet to win!" Everyone filed out of the garage, sheep.
"Alright! I have the perfect dimension to go to!" I grabbed the portal gun from Rick's coat pocket, inputting the dimension number into the portal gun.
"God, (Y/N), you picked this dimension on purpose? What a boring start to an adventure. Why not just go to Kentucky?" Okay, I'll give you that one, that was pretty funny.
"Rick, this is a fantasy-type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things. We're going on a quest, okay?" Morty defended my crude choice in an adventure. I actually knew all the odds and ends of this dimension. I visit (in a disguise) quite often, when Rick is asleep.
"Can't wait." Don't underestimate the adventure!
"Take it away, Morty! It's only fair you lead, I chose the dimension."
"Yeah, okay!" He said, he sounded really excited, I was really excited as well.
Morty climbed up onto something so everyone in the plaza could hear him. "Ahem. Excuse me! We are three humble heroes in search of adventure!"
"Oh, my God, so embarrassing." I punched Rick in the shoulder and he punched me back twice as hard.
"At last! Three heroes! You must help us! This village is terribly poor, yet the giant that lives in the clouds above has untold treasures!" One of the villagers said.
"You know what? We accept your call to adventure, good sir, kind sir. Come on, guys. There's a giant in the clouds!" Morty said. So far everything is going good.
"Yeah. Beginner's luck" Rick said, no, honestly I think that adventures are attracted to the three of us, like a magnet, or velcro, or something else that's sticky, really. We begin a long trek to the giant's castle. We walk, then walk a little more, climb a huge ass beanstalk, I'm going to have great calf muscles after this shit. We finally enter the castle after like, an hour and a half.
"All right. We're in your stupid giant's castle. What do we do next." Rick asked. He's clearly unimpressed with my choice of dimension, which is exactly what I wanted. Morty loves it, and so do I. It's beautiful, and only a little poor!
"Would you just relax, Rick? All we got to do is find the treasure room, okay? It's nice and simple. You know, I'm sorry everything's going so smoothly and adventurously." Morty said. I'm actually surprised nothing's gone wrong so far! We had literally so many chances to get seriously injured or killed and we're fine.
We heard loud, booming footsteps coming from down the hallway. "Uh-oh, guys. Startin' to get a little hairy. What do you want to do?" I look around the room looking for anything that we could hide behind. "Come on, hurry! Behind this cookie jar." I say with urgency as the giant got nearer.
"Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!" The giant said, it was so close.
"Just give up, guys. This is game over. I'll take us home right now. You just say the word." Rick looked between the two of us.
"No way, Rick. This is all part of it. Adventures have conflict. Deal with it." I said, in a low voice.
The giant walks into the room. "I smell the blood of- whoop!" The giant falls, and cracks it's head open on a table corner, Jesus fucking Christ! That's a shit ton of blood.
"Holy shit." I muttered, not to anyone in particular.
"Oh, boy. He looks pretty bad down there. Looks like he's bleeding out." Oh jeeeeeeez. It's a good goddamn thing I'm not squeamish.
A giant women walks in with a baby. Which sucks because we had come out of hiding and she can clearly see us and her husband lying on the floor, probably (definitely) dying.
"Oh, Jesus! Dale! You sons of bitches!" She pulls out a giant phone. "Oh, man. Hello, 911? My husband has been attacked by tiny people! He's dying!" She screams into the phone.
And then I fainted.
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Word Count- 1782

Hey sorry about the weight. Hope you enjoyed this smallish chapter. I didn't get my friend @Kyomi-The-Weirdo to edit this. So I hope you can understand it at least a little.