Life Sucks, Then you Die. (Rick and Morty x reader [platonic])

Raising Gazorpazorp (Part 2)

Rick and I had managed to practically enslave an entire planet to do what we wanted. Which was, currently, getting us parts to fix his broken portal gun.

The one we named dumb-dumb walked into our tent, which appeared to be made of human skin but I didn't want to ask. "Thanks dumb-dumb." I said. After he dumped the bag of the sex doll parts in the corner.

When he thought Rick and I weren't looking started to go after Summer... again. Naturally we had seen him as the stupid alien had tried this several times already, we were on high alert.

I've been put on door guarding duty, making sure anyone who came into the tent actually had some shit. Which left Rick to not only fixing the portal gun but also making sure Summer was safe. So when the alien thing started to 'sneak' towards Summer. Which really was more of a loud lumbering due to its size. Rick pointed his gun at him. "Thanks dumb-dumb! Go get more!" Rick yelled. I could tell he was getting frustrated with Summer.

"Summer, put your burqa on!" Rick yelled nobody was at the door so I went into the tent, there was some shade inside. "That burqa is a human rights violation, and I spent a lot on this top." The one time Summer decides to wear a stylish (and honestly a little revealing) shirt. "Look, I'm trying to repair portal gun with with bunch of s*x doll parts and I have to do it one-handed to keep these belushis from cutting you off. The least you could do is be ashamed of your gender." Summer looked to me for support, I just shrugged. Hah! She thinks Rick will listen to me. "Hey Rick, I can watch the door from the inside and guard Summer at the same time." I offered. "Fine whatever, just try NOT to kill anyone this time." He said to me.

Summer put the burqa on with a sigh. "What's the deal with this place? Why is it such a sausage planet and how did such backwards idiots invent robots?" Rick was busy with his portal gun so he just waved Summer off. "Well my guess would be that at one point they became so evolved, that they felt the need for birthing machines. Which in my opinion is stupid and women can be used effectively in any situation, sometimes even better then men." Rick groaned loudly.

"Yep (Y/N)'a got it, the resultant lack of distraction and handpecking allowed them to focus entirely on war, so they bombed themselves back to the stone age and now they just fight with each other over fake pussy with sticks and rocks all day long." I sighed, not really where I was going with that Rick...

"You think it's efficient to get rid of women?!" Summer fights, taking something from Rick's hand. "Do you ever see a line for the men's room?" Rick stood up, I never really noticed how tall he was until now. I stood between the two of them. "Knock it off! fighting isn't going to get us anywhere." Rick rolled his eyes, and Summer went back to her rock. After a little bit the ground started to shake and a robotic voice said, quite loudly "dropping loads."

We all ran outside and saw a giant floating head. All the... Gazorpzorpians were gathering around it. They all chanted "dropping loads. Dropping loads!" I'm realizing more and more that everyone on this godforsaken planet is loud. "The plot thickens." Rick says. Then the giant head sculpture 'vomited' out a bunch of sex dolls. Each identical to the ones Morty had. This might be our ticket out of here.

All the aliens surrounded a sex bot of choice. Grandpa Rick covered my eyes for me. "You might wanna cover your eyes, Summer." Rick said, I don't know why he'd even have to suggest it nobody wanted to see this shit. "Yeah, like it was my dream to watch." She snarked back.

Not even 10 seconds later (they're quick) the baby 'balls' flew back into the mouth of the spacecraft. "Kids, grab hold." Rick said. Instead of grabbing onto his side, I jumped right up onto his back, piggybacking him. Summer just grabbed his side. He shot a grappling hook into one of the baby machines and we flew right into the mouth of the floating head. All three of us screamed a little bit, these things were faster then they looked.