Inner Demons

Chapter 1

I stumble through the day,
Or at least sometimes it feels that way,
And no one can ever see,
The broken girl that is me.

This goes through my mind as I walk down the hallway. The years just get worse as I continue with school. My name is Ruby and even though senior year just started a month ago I'm already feeling the drain that my classmates bring when they start with the bullying. It starts sooner every year and every year it's harder to deal with it because I have to deal with it longer than before. I used to have friends, even if it was just a few I was never very popular but at least I had someone by my side. They all abandoned me and stabbed me in the heart with their words when they switched sides. They wanted nothing to do with me. I don't know what I did to them. I don't understand why my friends did this to me. Well they aren't my friends anymore I guess.

I move throughout the day like I'm a puppet being pulled along. And when I'm in class I sit near the back and just take notes. The teacher asks a question but even though I know the answer I don't raise my hand, if I do that people will start realizing I'm there. I just have to go unnoticed for a few more hours then I can go home. The bell rings and I gather my textbook and spiral off my desk, grab my bag, and I start making my way to the door when a foot shot out and tripped me. Normally I can catch myself when I trip because I'm used to almost falling, but this time I couldn't and all my papers fell out of my spiral. The entire class started laughing and walking past me to the door while I tried getting my papers back in the spiral. I could hear them talking about me, saying things like. "That stupid klutz." "Wow she can't do anything right." "Can't even leave a classroom without messing up." Why when stuff like this happens do the teachers go blind and deaf? Can't they see what's going on with their students? Do they even care?

I finally got my papers and rushed to my next class. I haven't always been like this. When I was in middle school and freshman year I was tough, nothing anyone could say would bother me and if someone tried to hit me I would hit back and win. That changed the more I saw my friends turning against me. Not all of them turned against me though. One graduated already and one moved last year, Cassie and Wanda. They were my best friends but I don't want to bother them so I don't text them anymore, sometimes they text me and I'll have a conversation but it's not the same as it use to be. And Cassie tries coming over when she can and those times when she comes back from college and hangs out with me make me happy. Like I'm not alone. Even though when she leaves I am alone again and I can't stand this awful lonely feeling.

I just want a friend.