3 - johnlock [EDITING]

8

TRIGGER WARNING AGAIN

i didn't want the following night to happen. during the day, we never talked about what we said at night. and it wasn't like i left my room anyway. not healthy, but since when have i been? but, of course, i couldn't hide from john, he would know i was awake and came for me. and, dear god, i would rather have been sitting there first. so i tiptoed out, hoping he would froget or not wake up, but john was john and him being the perfect person he was, he couldn't let that slide. no, he would have to talk to me.

so when i heard him come into the living room and sit down in his chair, i didn't look up from my novel. i stayed on the sofa, ignoring him.

john: sherlock, you can't ignore me forever.

watch me.

john: sherlock! speak to me.

i looked up at him. and he looked at me.

john: i'm listening and expecting an explanation.

i sat in silence. sorry, you aren't getting one, john.

john: now, preferably.

me: fine.

i rolled my eyes. john just sat in silence, waiting for me to start.

me: screaming would be better.

john: what?

me: screaming would be better. then that. you know, what you saw. but screaming isn't necessarily an option.

john: why though.

not a question.

me: i can't always cope with being me. i never express emotions. i just don't. it's not something i do. so that's something i do know how to handle. emotions are rough, but cuts, you can deal with those.

john: but why can't you just show emotion?

me: i don't bloody know, (i abruptly stood up) ask.. someone, because i don't know. i don't know, is that what you want to hear? because it is one of those things i never say and you always seem happier when i say it, or pleased, or smug, i don't know john, i don't know.

and flop, i was down on the sofa again.

john: so you don't know, correct?

me: and i'm just strange, but i can only recognize that at 3 am.

john: well, i would agree that you are strange.

he walked over to the sofa where i was sitting and sat down next to me.

me: i don't have sentiment, john.

john: i know.

me: and that's ok?

john: yeah, of course it's ok. you are sherlock holmes, the best man i've known.

he pulled me into a tight hug. i hugged back, holding tight. then he pulled away. i stared into his eyes. they were just.. his eyes. nothing important, but he was important. so that made even his eyes important. john was my best friend, and that was one of the few things i could recognize as being thankful for.

i don't know what propelled the following. had a flicked my eyes down to his lips when taking in his appearance? did i seem too in love? or in love at all?

suddenly, before i could register it, his lips were on mine. a quick pull in, then out, kiss, barley even lasting 2 seconds. needless to say, it was so quick i didn't even have time to do anything. it seemed like he was asking permission, because then he leaned in, for longer this time. and i kissed back. then he pulled away and turned to sit forward on the sofa again.

john: i'm gonna.. go to bed.

me: o-ok.

i, sherlock holmes, was at a loss for words. that never happened, but john had left me here, just dazed. what was that? a kiss? but i surly didn't have romantic feelings for him? sure, he was my friend but.. i didn't know what romantic feelings were like. what even was love? i had never felt that. as far as i know.

i, obviously, didn't leave the sofa that night.

(a/n: JOHNLOCK FINALLY!!)