3 - johnlock [EDITING]

12

(this is from mycroft pov and this will probably be the only chapter from his pov. if you guys like it, i can make another, but idk. anyway-)

sometimes, i wonder about sherlock. he never shows anything. and, yes that is hypocritical, but he's different then me. unlike him, i have never had the desire to have a friend. family was enough for me, or rather, in particularly, sherlock. he was the only thing i had ever held any form of remorse for. so naturally, i would worry about him. 

this is not the first time he has done something like this. but it's been a while sine the last time i needed to intervene. but all those times still feel like yesterday but also decades ago. sherlock should be fine- he is getting older now and should have at least some kind of control. he is not 21 anymore. but he never got that memo. he just stays in his pit, always falling, occasionally slower then other times, but it's a constant downward spiral. and sometimes, i wonder when he will hit the bottom. 

TRIGGER WARNING 

the first time i thought he had landed at the bottom was when he was 17. high school was hell for him, we all knew it, but i don't think we ever realized it completely until that day. the day was normal, he had woken up and gone to school. my parents to work. me to college, about an hour away from home. my parents were on a month long tour like thing for her new math book. she was going into classes and discussing it and whatnot. so it was i who got the phone call.

"sherlock was just seen leaving the school after punching his ap chemistry teacher. please bring him back so we can discuss this." 

of course, i was upset. i had to drive all the way home and miss my next 2 classes just to deal with my dumb little brother. but i got home, going up stairs in a huff after he had not responded to my calls. and there he was, crumpled up against the bathtub, blood pouring from his wrists. my first response was delayed by the shock. shock never got in the way of anything, i wasn't effected by it. my mother even joked that i didn't even cry as a baby and started wanting to wear suits at age four. but here i was, watching my brother dying and i had called him "dumb." a phone call later, and minutes of trying to stop the bleeding as i had learned, an ambulance came. my mother was never informed, and i claimed to be sherlock's guardian. 

he survived, but my brain was scared. we never told our parents. 

the second time was when i got a panic stricken call from my mom when he was 22 that sherlock had come home mad and angry. he said he wanted to say bye, before going into the bathroom with a bottle of vodka and cigarettes. i had to come and find a way to unlock the door, then take him out. he was a disaster for weeks. 

then, of course, now. age 35 (a/n: real quick wanted to say: sherlock would be 35 by the end of season 4. yes, i did the math. i'm just that extra. ok, i'm out) and practically having a drug overdose. he knew how much would kill him. he knew he was having too much, but he didn't stop. he meant for this to happen, and no one else but me and him knew it. 

TRIGGER WARNING OVER

worrying about sherlock was something i did very well. in fact, it was one of the few things that had to do with emotions that i did do well. so i went out to get john. 

"please don't break him, john watson." 

i almost felt like laughing as i walked away. it was so obvious what their argument had been about. it was clear just by looking at john that he had feeling for sherlock. what a ridiculous thought. 

(sorry for short chapters. i can never stick to longer ones. but double update!! whoop! is this me being guilty or just me being bored, idk)