The Middle (GxG) (Sequel to The Beginning)

Chapter 3

-LYNN'S P.O.V-

Tonight was good. I have missed her so much and waited for her. I would have waited longer. I would have waited for her.
She makes me happy. She brings me nothing but happiness. She falls asleep.
"I love you."
"I love you too, J."

I fall asleep soon after her.
It doesn't last long.

Jamie wake up screaming. It scared me awake. I hold onto her tightly, whispering in her ear.
"I'm here..."
What was happening?
"I'm here, J.. tell me what's going on?"
She stops screaming but tears fall. I heard a sniffle.
"Just bad dream."
"Talk to me.." I hold her closer to me.
"Please talk to me, Jamie."
"..Coma..dream."
Oh.. I saw this coming. I saw it all coming. I knew it would hit her at some point. Did... our..sex?
"Was.. It because of?" I felt like crying now.
"I don't know... no."
I lean us up, sitting with her staring at me.
"I'm so sorry.. I shouldn't have"
"No.." she puts a hand to my cheek, wiping my cheek from tears I had no idea I shed.
"It's my fault... if I would have stayed."
"It wasn't just you. It was us both."
"I don't forgive myself." I admit. "And won't."
"It will be okay. It was just a bad dream."
"Did.. It hurt?"
I see her nod through the tv light.
"I'm so sorry... I am really sorry.."
She pulls me into a hug. I think I needed it more than she did. I feel so guilty. It's all my fault.
"It was just a bad dream."
"A memory that shouldn't have fucking happened."
"Lynn.. please."
"I hate it. I ..hate me."
"But I don't. I love you more than anything. It was just a dream. It's over now."
"I saw this coming. I just didn't know.. It would seemingly crush me more than you." I laugh pathetically.
"Lynn.."
"There must be some part of you.. some part.. mad at me. Hate me."
"There was. Was. It was for a split second. But it was replaced with all the ways to either fix it or help you move on."
"I would have waited a lifetime for you, Jamie.. But it's all my fault."
I was crying so hard. I can't breathe.
"Breathe, baby. Breathe."
"I'm just so sorry. I triggered this memory.. the nightmare. I should have waited.."
"I was the one who wanted it. Lynn, I needed it. It helped me.."
"Right.."
"It did. It reminded me of our connection. Of how much you hold me down to this world. It brought me back. I was afraid.. to give myself back to you. But I'm not afraid. I know that the dreams might not be over. But I just want you to hold me through it. Your touch, your love. It's all I need."
"I will never leave you." I pressed a kiss to her shoulder, tasting how salty my tears have made her skin. I sigh.
"It would seem I cried a river over your shoulder.. care to shower?"
"Yeah. Sounds lovely."

Our shower was slow. Both in deep thoughts. Until she leaned against the shower wall and pulled me closer to her. Her knee going between my legs.
"Jamie..." my eyebrow raised to question.
"Oops." She smirked.
"You're evil."
But she always got me to smile when I was so down. Even when it wasn't sexual. If she would just smile, it would make life instantly happier.
"I try."
"Oh babe."
"Pretty sure you love it."
"I do.. I really do."
"I want you."
I looked away.
"Look at me."
But I couldn't.
"Look at me, Lynn."
..
"Lynndsie.." my head snapped to my full name.
My eyes fill with tears again. Why was I crying so bad about this?.. besides the constant self blame.
"Just.." she sighs.
I search her eyes. She struggles to find something to say. I'm just afraid to hurt her.
"Do this... for me." She takes my hand and places me where she wants.
I hesitate, her warmth against my hand. The look in her eye is not lust, but something different.
"W..why?" I choked out.
"In an odd way to say it: Your touch continues to bring me back. To bring me away from that place. It brings me here, Lynn. Here... where you are real and not gone." She pauses. "Every way I reconnect with you is just pulling me from there. I'm now in a place where I'm with you!"
I couldn't say anything. I am shocked. I understand... sort of. She removes her hand from mine... But my hand still lingers. I'm unable to move, barely able to think.
"With every touch. Every kiss. Every smile that you give me. I am reminded that you are here. It takes me away from that. I know you think it's hurting me. But it is really helping me. I don't want to be there anymore. In a world where you are gone."
Tears spilled from my eyes... in a world where I am gone. I put her through that.
"I just.." she sighed heavily. "I need you. Every last bit that you are willing to give."
She puts her lips to mine. I didn't kiss back for a moment .. But gave in and fell into it.
"Please.."
Despite the rock in my stomach I give her what she asks for. She holds onto me tightly, her moans still angelic. I brought soft kisses to her neck but my mind was out of it.
She finished and thanked me.

Once we climbed into bed.. things were pretty quiet. I only heard breathing. Neither of us were asleep but lost in our thoughts.
"Forgive me?"
"W..what?" I ask.
"Making you do something you didn't want to."
"It's not that I didn't want to.."
I didn't know what to say. I mean.. not really. So.. I will try.
"I want to give you everything. But I am so afraid that something, anything I do could hurt you.. send you back to that nightmare or send you in a mindshare where you think death is the only release. It scares me. And it wasn't about our sexual relations, more along the lines of afraid if you were really ready to give yourself to me again."
"I was ready and I'm not leaving you. Nothing you can do will hurt me besides walking out the door."
Which I will never do unless she pushes me. She continues.
"I love you with all of me. You have brought me so far. I don't wake up and fight the demon of being alone. Or the other demons that use to toy with me. YOU SAVED ME. From everything. I wake up in the arms of my fiancee. I make love with the love of my life. I eat meals with the love of my life.. " a laugh from her intertwines with her next few words. "I have sexy showers with my soulmate. I am happy. I am happy, Ly. And I'm happy with you."
I feel better. In a sense.
"So if I have a nightmare again, just hold me tight. Remind me of my reality, in your embrace. Those things aren't real anymore. Just hold me and it will be okay. I will be okay. WE will be okay. I hope you get what I mean? And feel better?"
"I do. Kinda."
"Are... we okay?"
"Of course." I squeeze her lightly and press a kiss to her forehead.
"I hate it when we argue."
"Me too." I sigh.
"I never want to go to sleep during a spat."
"I promise we never will."
"So. But question."
"What?"
"Will you Marry me?"
"I asked you first. My answer still stands at a giant yes."
"Good." She takes a deep breath. "You have to work in the morning."
I check my phone. 5. Work at 10.
"We can sleep til 9. That okay?"
I set my alarm, still waiting for an answer.
"Please."
She nuzzles close to me. Her hand slides behind my back, between bed and back.
"I don't want to fall asleep." I can hear her trying to stay awake.
"I'm not leaving."
"Promise?"
"Always."
Her breath slowed along with her heart pace. Her lips press softly against my neck.
"I love you, Ly."
"I will always love you more" I whisper, even though she is already out.
I hope her sleep is better. And I hope mine is too. I fall asleep with her held closely.

My alarm goes off, it doesn't wake me up at first. Jamie wakes me up by kissing my cheek. My eyes flutter open to see her.
Her smile bright.
"Guess you slept better?"
"Better than I have in a long time, actually."
"That's good."
"You are a lifesaver."
"What did I do?" I raise an eyebrow.
She presses a kiss to my lips.
"Everything."
"Not yet. Marriage is the next step."
She giggled and it rings in my esrs, the beautiful sound. I smile to her.
"I'm excited."
"Me too." I pause. "Want to try and walk today? Before I head to work?"
"Yeah."
We get up and she stands. She walks forward, me standing in front of her, making sure she won't fall. I hear her sniffle.
I lift her chin and see tears in her eyes.
"Okay.." I pick her up and carry her to the bed.
"Tell me all you need before I leave for work. I get out at 2 and be straight home."
"Some ibprophin? I'm really sore after yesterdays session with... Felix."
"Gotcha. Anything else?"
"Not that I know of. Just you get home soon"
"I will. Can't bend the time, though."
"Okay.."
I kiss her lips softly before heading upstairs and leaving.

"LYNNIE!"
"Hey, Princess. Hey, Alex!"
"Hey, Lynn. How are you?"
"Better. Me and.. Jamie had a long over due talk. About things"
"Oh? How did that go?"
I picked up May before responding.
"Good. Took us a few hours.. But she knows how guilty I feel. We got an understanding. She kept saying... how I was helping her return. From whatever place I sent her to when I left."
May hugs me tightly.
"At least you guys are better. I have a question for you."
"Shoot."
"When Jamie is on her feet again, how about she works with us? Take worry from your shoulders. Also I could really use the help."
"I can ask. That's really kind of you. I'm sure Jamie would take the chance to be around Princess. She loves her too." I look over to May. "Speaking of work. I gotta get to it. Wanna piggyback today?"
"REALLY?"
"Of course."
I loved this girl. I can't wait to have a little Jamie.