The Middle (GxG) (Sequel to The Beginning)

Chapter 10

-ROSE'S P.O.V-

     I'm sitting with her in my arms and the silence is haunting me. I will wait a lifetime though. But she speaks.
"Scared." Her voice comes out in sort of a whimpered squeak. Like it took her forever for it to actually come out.
"Ever since. I have been nothing but scared. I keep having nightmares. About him." I felt a tear splash on my wrist. I hate when she cries.
"It was as if his touch burned me. I feel." She paused. "Tainted. Like if you were to touch me, make love to me, it wouldn't feel the same. That you somehow hate me for him touching me. Because in that one minute I could barely fight back. I wasn't yours. I wasn't." Her tears fall harder.
   I squeeze her lightly in my arms, it's all I can do.
"I wasn't yours and I promised. I didn't get to keep it because of that bastard. You were my first and I wanted to keep it that way. I only ever want you and now I feel like I'm just used. Would you really wanted someone like me after? Would you touch me knowing another has?"
"It wasn't your fault, Zee. It wasn't your fault. It doesn't stand against my love for you."
    I feel guilty for not letting her explain sooner but anyone can be jealous and regret the fuck out of it. Which I do. And If I could take it back, I would. The cliches of all sayings.
    She turns in my arms. Her eyes puffy but still so beautiful. I wipe her tears and she leans to my touch.
"It wasn't your fault, Zee. You are so strong to have gotten yourself out of that. You aren't 'tainted' to me. I know where your heart lies."
"So you forgive me?"
"There was never anything to forgive you for. It wasn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could really do about it. It might take time for you to be willing to make love. That is fine, I will wait forever if I have to. There is no one else for me but you, Zee."
    She brings her lips to mine quickly, the kiss is short but sweet.
"I love you so much, Ro."
"I love you too, Zee."
    I love it when she calls me by my nickname she gave me when we first started... this thing. At first it was just secret glances. Secret kisses. All secret. But now, we are open. And I feel as free as I can be with her in my arms.
"What would you like to do the rest of the day?"
"Any suggestions?" She questions me.
"I don't care as long as you are in my arms all day."
"Food?"
"Of course you'd say food."
"I want to actually eat."
"Which is a good thing. You have me worried sick."
    She nods and presses a kiss to my cheek.
"Do you feel better?"
"Yeah."
"I will hold you forever, Zee. I am your reality and those are just nightmares. Okay?"
"Thanks, Ro."
     She gets up and offers her hand to me. I get up and we head to her car. It's nothing exciting, just a focus. But it has wheels and can take us faster than on foot.
"Where to?"
"Grab something and go to the path?" I question.
"That sounds nice."

    Once we hit the path, Zee and I get out with a blanket and out food. It's always beautiful up here. Even when weather changes.
    She curls close to me once we are finished eating. We just lay and relax... with the little kisses here and there. I will wait for her, even though I am dying for her touch.
"I want to go back and take a nap." Her smile wry.
"Sure."
    We gather the stuff and head back to the car. She let's a a big yawn off.
"Want me to drive?"
"Please?"
    The moment we hit the actual road off the dirt, she is out like a light. But her hand still tight in mine. The drive back was pretty peaceful but she was stirring a lot.
    It makes sense because she has nightmares... about. Yeah. And all I can do is fucking be there with her.
   We get back to my house and I carry her inside. This girl might have a nice set of thigh hips but she weighs like nothing. I lay her on the bed gently and she wakes up.
    I smile down to her. She is my precious angel. I would never see her as ...used. She is mine, no matter how this makes her feel as if I will leave. I will never leave her. Not fully anyway.
   And each break up wasn't a real break up we just needed to breathe. Her bitch friends always got in the way. And it pissed me off how I was always thrown to the side.
"Hold me?"
"Of course, Babygirl"
    Her reaction each time I call her that is always interesting. You'd think after so many years words would wear out. Not with her on those. And not with the words she gives me.
    I climb in bed and she curls close to me.
"I love you, Zee. You know that, don't you?"
"I do."
    Does she even know that one day I want to hear those words elsewhere? I planned after highschool to ask. But I don't really know if that's what she wants. I assume forever means forever, a wedding just makes it permanent.
"And I love you too, Ro. More than you will ever know." A yawn comes from her lips.
   She begins to fall asleep, holding onto me tightly and I holding to her. I have loved this girl since ...well.. since me and Jamie became friends.
    My first kiss was Jamie, yeah. And I know that sounds weird... that I'm obsessively in love with her TWIN sister.. But they are nothing alike.
   When I kissed Jamie, I might have felt something but staying friends was for the best. And her sister, she was always getting higher in rank with the populars so I seemed like nothing...
    I was just the kid that sat on the sideline with pitch black hair and black clothes to match. My hair is a dark blue now but still... And she is the girl in pink.
    I fucking hate pink. But on her, I don't. Her panties are always pink but I never let it stop me from pulling them down with my te.. nevermind.
    She is nothing like Jamie other than facial. And even then, Zee's eyes are brighter and have a soft touch. Jamie's are deep and dark. Their personalities aren't far off though.
    Both haven't got a heart to do damage other than to each other. Which I know Zee hates herself for. They both are sweet and kind.
    And they are close. And have this fucking twin thing that confuses everyone. One minute they're fighting but after a small look into each others eyes they start laughing. Or they finish each others sentences. Or cry when the other is crying. Or is in pain when the other is.
     When Jamie was in chemo, Zee always felt a sting under her skin. She would say it hurts but thought nothing of it until Jamie told everyone. And when Jamie was in the coma, the pain continued but her heart felt more broken than it would have been with her just in the coma.
    It's like she felt Jamie's pain of Lynn leaving her. Oh. Oh shit.
    That's why Jamie chased me. Because she didn't want Zee to feel that way again. I understand it now. I feel terrible for doing that to Jamie. She literally is my hero.
    My mind stops it's racing, slowly but just enough for sleep to take it's hold.
  
    I wake up to her straddling my hips.
"Uh.. hi."
"Hey." She smiles. The sun makes her look like an angel.
"Sleep well?"
"Much."
"Good. I'm gl" she cuts me off with a kiss.
   The kiss isn't exactly deep but it's lust filled. I don't want to do this if she doesn't. I pull my lips back from hers.
"What do you want to do today?"
"Movie?" She looks disappointed.
"I don't want to, Zee if you're not ready..."
"I know." She smiles but it's small.
"When you are ready, I am. I'll wait forever."
    She presses a short soft kiss to my lips and the climbs off of me.
"Movie?"
"What do you have in mind?"
"Scary."
"You only pick scary as an excuse for me to hold you."
"Is that a problem?"
"Of course not. I would always hold you anyway."
    She huddles in my arms as the movie starts. I smile to how scared she gets when the tiniest things happen. I love her.
"I'll protect you." Or try to.
"I love you, Ro."
"I love you too, Zee."