Aurora | H.S.

19. empty seat

🌼

Last night, before harry drove to the city, he stopped by my apartment and insisted on spending a few hours with me. The clock in the kitchen neared midnight when he mentioned having to go. We stood in the doorway for a while, his hands on my face while he stared down at me, assuring me that it wasn't going to be forever. I laughed, but I think we both knew how skeptical I was at that very moment. So when he finally left and the door closed between us, I had to pry myself from where I stood to finally go to bed.

It was nice to have some time with him, and for the first time in weeks Eliana had been moody all day. Nothing I did made her smile, so being able to relax in someone's arm made me glad that at that very moment I wasn't lonely.

The screeching of my phone alarm wakes me up mercilessly from a deep slumber. Groaning, I roll over and blindly grab the device from the nightstand before fumbling around to turn it off. For a few moments I let myself rest, taking a moment before the storm—a rush of work, taking care of Eliana and then repeat. It may not seem like much, but I feel it in my gut that today is going to be one of those days.

Like clockwork, Eliana begins to cry from her bedroom down the hall. Having not showered before I went to bed, last night lingers on my skin. It's almost like I can feel his hands in my hair, his lips against my temple as he whispers loving compliments. Right now it feels like a daydream.

In just a t-shirt and my hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, I get Eliana ready for daycare. Naturally, she didn't want me to brush her hair, but I managed to get it into little pigtails at the top of her head. Some curls frame her face, but I didn't want to struggle anymore than either of us wanted.

After breakfast, I kiss her forehead, surprised that she's warmer than she was a few minutes ago. Her brows are pulled together and she looks miserable, and it only adds to my stress. When I stop in my tracks to feel her forehead with the back of my hand, she whimpers and nestles her head into the crook of my neck. For a while I rub her back and sway her around the kitchen until she's about to fall asleep.

With a storm brewing in the atmosphere, the wind blows my hair around wildly while I walk Eliana to daycare. I almost turn around when I see her burst into tears, reaching her hand out for me. Sally, one of the daycare aids, tells me to have a good day, but all I want to do is smack that smirk off her face. It's never easy for me to leave Eliana with someone else. It makes me feel like I'm not capable of taking care of her myself.

* * *

Mrs. Winters came to get her order of flowers today, asking me briefly about my so-called love affair with the man from the city. Not only did she remind me that Harry wasn't here, but she wouldn't stop going on about the great job offer he told her about the last time he saw her.

As the shop dies down of customers, I contemplate texting him, but there's an annoying little voice in the back of my head telling me not to. You don't need him, the voice tells me over and over again. And I only listen because I know that I definitely don't deserve him. When he's not being a spoiled brat he's kind and sweet, patient and loving.

At two thirty in the afternoon, my phone rings from the counter at the front of the store. I drop the hose and excitedly walk towards the desk, anticipating a call from Harry. To my surprise, it's not him. It's Eliana's daycare.

I quickly answer, hearing Sally's voice on the other line. Her words make me sick to my stomach, a panic I don't think I've ever felt until this day. Eliana's in the hospital, she told me as calmly as she could, she has a very high fever when you brought her in and it wasn't going down. Before she could say anything else, I told her I was on my way, then hung up.