All She Wishes | Shawn Mendes | ✔

03. Of Wishes And Tears

"Sometimes, crying is the only way your eyes can speak when your mouth just can't explain how broken your heart is."

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USUALLY, SEEING SHAWN made my heart skip a beat, but the very second I saw him with her, my heart completely stopped.

On a table at the other side of the cafeteria, Shawn was sitting with his best friends, Ian and Trent. Lynelle was with them. And no, not Lynelle Adams. It was Lynelle Shelton. Her brown hair cascaded down her slender shoulders in tight curls and her crop top and dark denims hugged her shapely physique perfectly. She was beautiful.

She was sitting at their table, precisely beside Shawn. She was sitting so close to him, it made bile rise to my throat. I never got to sit that close to Shawn and I was his girlfriend. Whenever I sat too close to him, he'd either ask me to scoot over a little or he'd do so by himself. I wondered when Lynelle started sitting with Shawn and his friends. She usually sat with her popular friends from the cheer squad.

Lynelle, Shawn, Ian and Trent were talking to each other and they were laughing too. I caught the look on Shawn's face. He looked genuinely happy and his gorgeous smile was radiant. He never smiled that way when he was with me. He never even smiled at all when he was with me. It was tragic.

Tears sprouted in my eyes as I watched as Lynelle lean over to kiss Shawn on his cheek. With an alluring smirk, he leaned in, whispering something into her ear.

"Eiffel. Eiffel!" I heard Jace call. "You're zoning out again,"

"I'm so sorry, Jace," I said, picking up my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. "I have to go."

I couldn't stand to watch my boyfriend do things like that with another girl. I abandoned my lunch and ran out of the cafeteria, hoping the janitor's closet would be empty so I could cry my eyes out in there.

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"OH my goodness, Eiffel, you look so pale. What happened?" My mother asked me when I walked into the house after school.

"Nothing," I replied, brushing my tear-stained cheeks with my palm.

"Were you crying?" My mom looked at me suspiciously.

"No," I lied, pushing past her in an attempt to climb up the stairs. She didn't let me move, though. She stood firmly in my way.

"What happened?" She asked again. Firmer, this time.

I searched my brain, trying to come up with a convincing lie so I could get my mother off my case. I had every reason to tell her about the problems I was facing with Shawn but I didn't because I knew that she was going to talk to Karen about that.

My mother and Shawn's mother had been best friends ever since they were in middle school. They lost contact with each other after going their separate ways for college, but when my parents and I moved here two years ago, they patched up their lost friendship and they had been inseparable ever since then.

Now what bothered me was that if she told Karen, Karen would be likely talk to Shawn about it and then Shawn would be outrageously mad at me.

An angry Shawn was equal to a heart broken Eiffel.

How was I supposed to make him love me if I always gave him a reason to be mad at me?

"Honey, have you seen my glasses?" My dad's voice travelled down the hallway as he walked towards the living room.

"I think you left it in your study," My mother replied when he appeared in the room.

He was dressed in his regular check shirts and jeans. He looked kind of awkward to me because I rarely saw him without his glasses.

"Hi dad," I said, giving him a small smile.

"Eiffel," he enthused, pulling me in for a hug. "How was your day?"

"Good," I replied and he nodded before going to get his glasses.

My mother turned back to me and I groaned.

"Mom, I'm fine," I said in the most assuring voice I could muster. "School was just a bit stressful,"

"Are you sure, Eiffel?" She questioned, concern clouding her features.

"Yes," I nodded. "I'll just go upstairs to do my homework."

"Okay," She said before hugging me.

I pulled away with a weak smile and jogged up the stairs to my bedroom. I dropped my bag and laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

As usual, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about Shawn. And this time, with Lynelle. Everything I had seen at the cafeteria was still a vivid picture in my memory. What if Shawn was having an affair with Lynelle?

The thought came before I could stop it, and honestly, I wouldn't blame him if he was. I mean, Lynelle was a whole lot prettier than me. She had all the curves, she had the prettiest hair in the school, boys were head over heels for her. What was I compared to an enchantress like her?

Shawn deserved better. He deserved to be with someone better than me. Someone that was not me. It would have been a whole lot easier to let him go if I wasn't hopelessly in love with him. Every second, every hour and every day of my life, I had always wished for Shawn to love me as much as I loved him. It was hard to live with the fact that he didn't care about me, but I lived with it every single day.

A tear slid down my cheek and more kept streaming down my face. Muffled sobs echoed throughout my bedroom and I poured all the tears I could muster, until I couldn't find it in myself to cry anymore.

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