Worlds Apart

4. The Last Words

After making love for what seeme like hours. Mads and I drank the wine then ate our cold dinner. I fell asleep while Mads sobered up, and when he had, he dressed me to the best of his ability then carried me to the car. We arrived home around midnight, exhausted from not only the sex but from our fight as well.

Mads laid me in our bed, undressed me, leaving me to dream in pure bliss. Completely exhausted, my entire body ached from the movements and series of contortions. The argument still played in my mind however, the worry of trust issues. I trusted Mads with my entire life. I trusted him with my heart and my body, my safety and my well being. I trusted him completely yet he questioned me, he made me question myself, he made me feel quilty over something I didn't do.

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As the sun was rising my eyes began to open. My thighs ached imensly, my ass was probably still red, and my lips felt swollen. I felt a rush of cold air hit me, goosebumps ran down my legs.
I shiver under the covers, curlijg my legs closer to my chest. A whimper escapes my lips.

An arm warpped around me, pulling me closer to the middle of the bed. I felt Mads's warm body against my back. His breath fanned my neck, his lips grazing my skin. I felt my body become warmer and more relaxed. I whimper again, groggily shifting in Mads's hold.

"Stop moving, go to sleep, elsker," he groans. Deja vu was kicking in, the fact that Mads did this nearly every morning made me smile.

I felt his lips on my neck, kissing softly, moving down to the nape then my shoulder. He began moving toward my throat, making me giggle.

"Stop, Mads, I..." I say giggling. My giggles came to an instant halt. The burning in my throat, the knots in my stomach coming undone. I felt bile rush through me and without a thought I pushed Mads away from me and hurried off of the bed. I ran to the bathroom as fast as my feet could carry me. I knelt before the toilet and hurles whatever was in my stomach.

I felt my stomach heave whatever it had into the bowl. I was graced with a minute without vomiting, allowing me to flush the toilet and breath.
My eyes watered and my throat was burning from the acid. The taste lingered on my tongue causing me to hurl once more only this time I felt my hair being held back. Mads soothed me with rubbing my back. My stomach clenched as I began to dry heave.

"I'm gonna get you some water," Mads says. I feel my hair fall, his hand leaving my back.

I pull away from the toilet, flushing away the contents then leaning back against the wall beside it. With one arm wrapped around my waist, the other pulled close to my chest as my hand covered my mouth. I was cold, only wearing my black bra and underwear.

Mads returns with a glass of water which I begin to gulp down. He stops me from drinking too fast, pulling the glass away from me. After another minute of silence, as I slowly drink my water, Mads runs a hand through his hair. He looked worried, making me worried.

"Allison," he says as one of his hands cups my face. I lean against his hand, feeling his calloused fingers against my soft cheek.

"Can I ask you something? I don't want you to freak out but...I need to know something," He says cautiously.

I nod, my throat hurts still and I feel like falling asleep again.

"When was the last time you got your period?"

My eyes shot open. I felt my body become tense. The sickening feeling made me want to hurl again. Without answering his question, I stand up and walk out if the bathroom. I hear him call my name but I just continue to walk away.

I walk through the bedroom, down the hallway to the living room. I go to the kitchen, Mads hot on my heels as I approach the hanging calender by the fridge.

I calculate in my head. Not last month, maybe the month before? It was normal for me to skip due to my birth control, which I took every single day. It wasn't hard for me to figure out that it was two months ago.

How could I have gone two monthes without my period? There had to be a good reason besides the obvious.

"Well?" Mads questions, begging for an answer.

"Uh...um....I..."

"Allison?" He says angrily trying to get my attention.

"Two monthes ago..."

He looked sick. I could see a burning emotion in his eyes but I couldn't tell whether it was guilt, shame, sadness. I shook my head, my eyes burning with tears.

No there is no possible way. It can't be. I am on the pill, most of the time we use condoms but...oh Lord! How could I have been so stupid? The pill doesn't always work! There were comdoms for a reason, STDs, pregnancy, all of that. How could I have let this happen.

"This can't be happening," Mads says running a hand through his hair. He looked sicker than he did the moment before.

"No, I am on the pill, it's normal to skip...right?"

"Sometimes, yes, but...we need to think of the possibility. We need to get you tested, a blood test, something with complete accuracy," he says releasing a shaky breath.

"I'm not pregnant," I say trying to convince myself.

"I'm not taking any chances! Fuck!....what was I thinking?"

What was he thinking?

Now I knew that the look in his eyes wasn't guilt or shame or sadness, nor fear, instead it was regret. He regreted me for this moment. The possibility of having a child.

My mouth was agape in shock as he tossed away my feelings and said the complete truth.

"What are you thinking?" I say.

He is silent, barely able to look in my direction. Did he think this was my fault? Was it that terrible, to be stuck with me forever, being the mother of his child?

"I don't think I can do this," he mumbles.

My heart broke. The physical pain was worse than that of the scars on my back. It hurt more than first time I was attacked, more than the second time more than when Troy cotaurized my wounds, more than what Josh did to me.

I felt myself slip away with every second. I wanted to get out of here, to run away. I felt the warm tears run down my cheeks. I felt my legs carry me to the bedroom. I didn't hear Mads follow nor did I feel his soothing touch of reassurance.

The first thing I did was get dressed. I wore a pair of leggings and a loose long sleeved dark blue sweater. The straps of my bra could be seen so I let my hair down to cover them. I pulled on a pair of black slip ons and without  another thought, I left the house. Stalking towards Kellner trail.