Worlds Apart

23. Envied

When dinner was served I noticed that everyone except Kristi was present.

I was worried that the others had heard of the incident and had disowned her like Mads had. My brain still tried to grasp the guilt of Kristi being the new outcast of her family. I definitely was at fault for ruining her life. Falling into the rabbit hole of love wasn't my intention but then again love can occur in an instant, unexpectedly. I was more than in-love with Madson Struhst, I needed him, I crave him every moment. More or less I was obsessed.

Mads, like always, sat at the head of the table. This was questioned by Johanne who explained that the tradition was that the eldest sibling sat at the head of the table. Robert, being the eldest sibling, defended Mads explaining that he was the head of the family due to the circumstances.

"What circumstance is that?" Johanne asked bemused.

"He has taken over not only the roles that our father had but the role that Vicinity had as well. He is mayor, doctor, head of commercial affairs. He does more for the island in a week than what I can do as sherrif in a year," Robert explains defensively.

Mads waves his hand, shaking his head which signals Robert to calm down and ignore the question.

"I miss Vicinity, she was always so... cheerful," Johanne says as his eyes shift towards the center of the table. A smile comes his face, beautiful, small but meaningful. He genuinely missed her which was odd. How old was she the last time he saw her?

"She must have been twenty-four, twenty-five. I was about fifteen. To be honest, and I know this sounds creepy but..." He laughs and shake his head. "I had a crush on her. Sounds horrible but I was a kid! Every girl looked beautiful to me."

I said my question out loud? Damn-it! I need to watch myself. I need to behave and watch my surroundings. Think like I used to. Those dinners with those prestigous bachelors, watching my back as if I could be stabbed at any moment. I could harm myself with a sentence and I needed to ask myself "should I say this?" Instead of saying it.

"She was very pretty, I always wanted to be her. Her eyes were gorgeous!" Else gushed.

"Photos don't do her justice," Karina chimes in.

Had I ever seen a photo of Vicinity? Nope, never. I could only imagine a greek goddess, with beautiful eyes that resembled a green forrest. She must have been tall, with an hourglass figure like women from the 1950s. She must have had long black hair. A beautiful smile maybe, with high cheek bones.

"I've never seen a photo," I murmur almost silently.

There I go. Digging a hole, my grave. The headstone was on its way, ready to mark my death by suicide. The weapon? Words.

"Mads, you should show her a photo. To be hones, Alison, you remind me of her," Robert says.

My eyebrows raise at the thought. How could I remind him of her?

"She doesn't look like Vicinity at all," Mads says laughing.

"She is somewhat similar, I just can't place it," Robert says. He thinks for a moment before discarding the subject all together.

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I took in a deep breath, soothing and cold. The cool breeze of fall was so beautiful, the leaves falling and running with the wind. The air felt crisp and there was something about it that was so refreshing.

"Please tell me you are ready to leave," Mads whines as he walks up behind me.

I lean agains the thick stone barrier between me and the edge of the deck. His hands take my hips pushing himself against my ass. I stand straight, leaning against him now.