Worlds Apart

7. Rest

I was quiet for the rest of the day. I couldn't really come to terms with the idea of another life growing inside me, only to lose it. It was odd, the idea that I could have brought life into this world. What was more heartbreaking was the thought that I never will be able to do that again. Adoption seemed likely but having kids in general seemed so out of place.

I was trying my best to rest, falling asleep every so often then drinking a cup of water once I woke up. I was able to stand and slowly walk to the bathroom to pee but I felt like a 70-year-old woman when I did.
I tried to sleep more than anything, Mads spent the day talking to Troy, checking on patients then coming back to me. By the end of the night Mads was drifting off to sleep in the chair beside my bed. His head laid on the edge of the matress, his arms folded underneath his head. My fingers played with the curls of his hair. His mumbles grew louder then stopped as he finally fell asleep.

I watched TV while it was muted, reruns of sitcomes played as I continued my torture. The thoughts of what could have happened and what could no longer happen. I didn't want to cry anymore. I felt empty and tired, life draining from me. I began to close my eyes but a breif knock sounded from the door.

The door swung open and a young nurse stepped in. She was short, envious chocolate colored skin and large brown eyes. She smiled at me and I smiled back. She took a few steps foreward and I expected her to start checking my vitals but instead she began to whisper.

"You have visitors. Its after visiting hours but since your with Dr. Struhst I thought the rules could be broken...if you're up for it," she says nervously.

"Who is it?" I whisper back.

"A woman and a man, claim to be your parents and a young man who says hes your brother."

Was I really ready for this? Did I have to do this? I was too tired and so much had occured today, I just couldn't keep my eyes open.

"I'm really tired. Could you tell them visiting hours are over and that I am already asleep?" I pleaded.

"Of course," she says nodding. The nurse leaves, shutting the door behind her. I shut off the TV, only dimly lit lights from the machines were left. I closed my eyes, relaxed my body, and begged the Lord that this was a dream.

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The next morning I tried my damndest to forget. I tried to push the horrible feelings aside, the pain and the memories and focus on getting better. All I wanted was to go home. All I wanted was to be in bed with Mads, to have him hold me and kiss me the way he always does.

Waking up, the sun seeped through the semi-closed blinds of the window, hitting my eyes. I let out a wheezing cough as I began to awaken, causing Mads to awaken as well. His head shot up from laying on the edge of the bed. He blinked a couple times, trying to wake up, the dark circles under his eyes were a for sure sign that he didn't sleep well.

"Allison," he mumbles groggily. I tried to calm my wheezing coughing but the constriction and pain of my ribs causes it to become worse.

"Slow, small breaths, elsker," he instructs.

"It...hurts..." I say between coughs.

He stands up and walks to the sink, he fills a cup with water and walks back to me. He supports my head, helping me drink the warm water. I drink it and slowly my coughing disipates. After a few minutes my lungs relax as does my body.

"I'll get you some pain medicine. You need food to take with it," he explains.

"I'm not hungry," I say with a hoarse voice.