I Fake That Smile! ( Completed Watty Awards finalist 2012)

Chapter Eighteen

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All my <3 Mel xx

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Chapter Eighteen

An amazing bright sparkly light was shinning right into my eyes almost blinding me. That must be the light that you hear about, the one when you die it guides you towards the gates of heaven, and I have always wondered if that was true, I thought to myself. I smiled knowing that, I have the answer to that now.

Looking back towards the bright light I knew what I needed to do.

The light was guiding me to a place that for the rest of my life I will be happy and safe. Then I seen Damon sitting down at a table, he was crying hysterically. I had never seen him like this and it hurt me so much to see him like that. It was as if he was blaming himself for something, then it hit me, he thought I killed myself because of him. I tried telling him I was ok and that I didn’t  killed myself  because of him, I kept screaming at him through my sobs but he couldn’t hear me. He could not even see me, I tried shaking him but I couldn’t touch him, I repeatedly tried to get him to hear me as I continued to scream at him. I felt sick and broken at the thought of losing him, and it was my entire fault. It was my entire fault that he was like this now. I had caused him this pain, Me, I was meant to make him happy, but no I had to take an easy way out and be selfish. Screaming at myself for causing so much hurt and pain, I wished I wasn’t dead, I wished I had never tried to kill myself. I should have just married that man and let him have what he wanted, at least it was me feeling the pain and not Damon, I shouted to myself in my head.

Hearing a strange sound brought me out of battling with myself. Looking around I kept quite so I could follow the now different sounds, I was starting to feel what felt like rain on my face. I tried covering my face with my hands but I couldn’t, as I couldn’t get my arms to move, they felt too heavy. Hearing the sound again, only it was getting louder this time I started to run towards it, it was a beeping sound. I felt my body go from ice cold to boiling hot in the matter of seconds.” please God let me help ease Damon’s pain, let me go back, give me another chance please I am so sorry.”  I pleaded as I could not stand the pain I was causing, I would rather go through life in pain every day for the rest of my life then cause someone else pain. I could feel my heart it began to beat so fast making me gasp. Feeling and hearing people talking and touching me I tried opening my eyes but they where too heavy. I wanted to scream to tell them I am here, to let them no that I was alive. However, blackness took over.

Waking up I had some flash backs of my awful nightmare. Opening my eyes, I looked down at my wrists only to notice it was no nightmare. That I had tried to kill myself, and Damon was in pain. Looking around the room, noticing I was in hospital, I felt relived, that I was not still in that house with them men.

The door opened, I was so scared I quickly closed my eyes, noticing by the way they were talking, it was just a doctor and a nurse I opened my eyes. Seeing the nurse nudge the doctor, I knew she had noticed I was awake. The doctor greeted me, so kindly and concerned it made me feel safe.