Big Things

Chapter 9

AN: Three updates in one day!? Whaaaat!? Do you love me or do you love me? ^_~

<><><><><><><><><>

Erik really did give Charles one day to make a decision. Although he truly didn't see why would Charles even need this long. They loved one another, they were great together. What more was there to think about? Technically, Erik was an adult. Physically, Erik was an adult. By all visible signs, Erik was an adult. What did it matter that he was a teenager a little over 4 months ago?

Charles loved him. Or so he said. Erik believed Charles but he was worried some deluded sense of morality or propriety would hold Charles back from accepting Erik back into his life.

Erik wasn't giving Charles up. He wasn't giving their love up. This was a war and he was ready to fight it! He was ready to win it! One way or another, he'll get Charles to admit his feelings openly and without shame. It was just a matter of time.

~*~

"My decision is final, Erik." Charles said. He looked so tired. There were dark circles under his eyes and he hardly had the energy to talk, let alone argue with Erik.

Erik felt bad. He didn't mean to put Charles through all that. He only wanted Charles to take him back again.

"And you won't change your mind?" he asked one last time.

Charles shook his head. "I won't let myself change my mind." he replied.

Erik felt great terror in his chest. "But I cannot lose you, Charles! I cannot! I need you! Especially now when you're the only person around who knows about me! I need you by my side! You can't just abandon me!"

"I am not abandoning you, Erik." Charles said calmly. "If you need anything, you can always come to me. I'll be here whenever you feel like you need a friend, someone who knows the special situation you're in." Before Erik could feel hopeful again, Charles added, "But there can never be anything more than friendship between us. Not anymore. Even if--" his voice wavered a little but he got it under control. "Even if my feelings for you are deeper than they should be, there cannot be--" He trailed off.

Erik was waiting. Charles sighed.

"Physical love." he finished.

"So no sex?"

Charles shook his head. "It's inappropriate."

"What about hugs?"

"Hugs are alright." Charles replied patiently.

"What about cuddles?" Erik continued.

Charles frowned, hesitant. "I guess cuddles are alright, too. Under certain circumstances."

Erik dared not ask about kisses. He had a feeling he knew the answer to that already. Besides, getting Charles to not throw him out of his life completely was already an achievement!

"So I can come to you, whenever I need your emotional support?" he asked again, just to make sure. "I can depend on you and we can still be friends?"

Charles looked very very tense but still he nodded. "Yes."

Erik nodded too. "I see. Thank you."

"There's no need to thank me." Charles said.

"Can I hug you now or...?"

Charles inhaled slowly, tiredly. "Um. Alright."

Erik slowly approached Charles and carefully put his arms around him, mindful to not be too intimate and set off the alarms in Charles' head.