Tough Love

Part 23: The Truth

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Sal's POV

I lied to him. Sort of... Yes, in a way, I definitely lied to him. I didn't sleep with Faith, but he's right to be suspicious of me.

I don't know what got over me. I guess I just felt like he and were already done a long time ago. We were hardly ever intimate anymore, and I felt like I was just another tedious daily task for him to deal with. Ever since that night...

I'm such a fucking cheater. On that night, while he was going through hell, I went to bed with a woman I don't even remember, and when Faith stayed with me... Well, I'll just tell the whole story.

Flashback to the night Faith ran off

I was coming home from the airport when I noticed Faith sitting on the curb a couple blocks from Quinn's house; crying. I really did envy her for what she had with him - a child, which was something I could never share with him in blood - however, I wasn't willing to just let her sit there. She could get hurt. Quinn's son could get hurt. So I stopped the car and went over to her.

"You okay? Why aren't you at Q's?"

"Because he's an asshole!" she sobbed loudly, clutching her knees to her stomach for dear life.

"I know... he can be, anyway," I said solemnly. "Would you like to come to my place? I don't like the idea of you sitting out here alone at night. I don't want you to get ra-- hurt, again."

"For Christ's sake, just use the damn word! I was raped! That's how I fucking got pregnant! Don't bullshit around the bush like Brian does!" I was surprised by her sudden outburst, but also strangely impressed by the fact that she wasn't shying away; like Brian, as she put it. She really was a strong woman in the end. "And why the fuck would you want me around anyway?"

"Like I said, I don't want you or the baby to get hurt. I can't have that on my conscience, and Bri would kill me. Please just come with me. At least for the night."

She gazed deeply and intensely into my eyes; probably searching for any hostility she might have to endure from me. But I tried to push that away and let her see that I can be a gentleman every once in awhile. "Fine. I'll go with you." She refused my hand when I tried to help her into the car, and she refused it when she was getting out as well. And the short car ride was completely silent. I guess I deserved it though. After all, I had been quite the ass towards her from day one.

It didn't take me longer than two seconds to find the house key, as this had been my house for many years and I had the motion down like a science. Once we were inside and took our shoes off I began to finally speak. "Help yourself to whatever food you want from the kitchen. And you can have my bed. I just changed the sheets and it's a lot more comfortable than the guest bed."

During the car ride, she had managed to stop crying, but her eyes and cheeks were still red and puffy as she turned to me. "Thank you, Sal. But... would you mind staying up and talking with me? About Brian?"

I tensed at her words, but the pair of us really did need to talk. We had some issues... well, I had some issues with her. And I needed to know if I was being irrational or not. "Okay... Have a seat, I guess." We sat together on the couch; neither of us wanting to face each other. "Do you want to start or shall I?"

"I guess I will. Sal, I understand why you don't want me around. Trust me, I wish I didn't have to be. But whatever is going on with you and Brian, I have to deal with when you're not around. He's worried sick that you'll give up on him, and then he starts drinking. I stopped it tonight, we got in a fight and that's why I stormed out. He's probably really drunk right now. I... I can't have that around my son. I refuse to. And the stress and worry... I don't mind being his friend, and I would like to be your friend, but it's taking its toll on me."

"I... I didn't realize... fuck!" Why didn't I think of this before? Her pregnancy is already high risk, what with her having bronchitis and all, and here I am fucking it up and making it worse. "I love him to death, Faith. And I would never want to hurt him, you, or your son, but this relationship... it's killing me. It's not the same. We're not as close anymore, and we haven't been since he was... raped. The... sex is horrible. If he doesn't black out then it just seems like he hates every minute of it and I hate that! It leaves me so fucking horny..."

And here's where I really fucked up. I looked over to meet Faith's gorgeous icy blue eyes, and I just... I couldn't help it. It felt like instinct. I kissed her. I kissed her, and I held her so she couldn't back away; forcing her to kiss me back. I kissed her in a way that didn't allow us to taste each other, and the only thing I could feel was lust. It was possessive, it was sick, and it was wrong. But it felt so damn good; like when we kissed on the show.

I also felt her start to struggle against me, and it took every ounce of willpower I had to break away from her; leaving our lips swollen. "Faith, I... I'm so sorry..." I began wiping my mouth, desperately trying to rid myself of her saliva as she stared at me in shock.

When she finally spoke, it was in a menacing tone and it made me realize just how fucked up I truly was. "I won't tell him, but you better talk to him. Either fix your shit with him or break it off. None of us deserve this." And with that, she locked herself in the guest room - despite my previous offer - and was gone the next morning. There was no note, no text, nothing. She had vanished.

Present time

After I lied to him and he just ran out like that, I couldn't hate but hate myself more than ever. The feeling was so strong that I barely felt the sting of the cold blade across my thighs and stomach, and I hardly noticed how badly I was hyperventilating. Red splotches began to cover the carpet in my bedroom. And every time I caught a glimpse of my hideous face in the mirror above my dresser, I cut deeper, screaming horrible things at myself. "YOU FUCKER! YOU FAT, WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKER! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU HURT HIM!" A picture of our first week as a couple atop my dresser caught my eye, and I sobbed harder. "I'm so sorry! I love you, but I do nothing but hurt you! I can't... I can't stay here!"

Just as I was about to slide the cool metal across an area that I knew would be fatal, I saw the dim light of my phone in the corner of my eye. Murr's picture popped up on the screen, and I would have ignored it but... something told me that I needed to answer. I just had to.

"H-hello?" I whispered, hoping he wouldn't notice how fucked up I sounded. But when he spoke, I realized that he wasn't doing so great either.

"Sal! You need to come right now - oh god, it's horrible! He's not - fuck, move out of my way! That's my best friend!"

"What?! Murray, what the fuck is going on?!"

"Head to the hospital right now! They're trying to get him to breathe again - no! I am NOT leaving him! You can go to hell!"

"JAMES! What fucking happened? Who's not breathing?!"

"Brian was in a car crash!"

My phone fell from my hand.

***********

Holy fucking shit. I'm sorry for anything negative this might bring up for you guys.

What will happen now?

Please vote and comment, and remember to be the light in this dark world.