(discontinued) tree bros; only us

two: googly moogly this is depressing

art cred: kuboe on tumblr

  Connor's POV

Mom and Dad's obnoxious bickering rung in my ears. Wow. Pleasant reminder I'm still alive, right?

These past months I've been trying to get out of this hellhole through suicide. Each time I was about to grab the razor or steal the pills from the cabinet, I couldn't bring myself to finish my pitiful life off. But this time, it was a massive change. I was so close. I could've stopped it. But no, I had to be a coward, and sit there, sobbing. Zoe had to come to the rescue, goddamn her. She means well, but she's really making it worse. If she let me just finish myself off, all the pain would go away. Instead here I sit in my bed staring at the ceiling. I inhaled, preparing myself for what was about to go down. I stood up out of my bed, and decided to wear the casual outfit. Black on black, of course. I grabbed my shoulder bag, and headed out and into the bathroom.

After I finished getting ready in there, I made my way into the dining room. Zoe already was seated with Cynthia and Larry. It was a silent breakfast, due to mom and Larry's argument earlier. I can't even stand calling him my dad anymore. He fucking hates my guts. The feeling is mutual. I just dug into my eggs without a word. I glanced up to look at Zoe, and her eyes landed on me. She seemed concerned. Maybe she gives half a shit about me. I doubt it, though. She is the only one who believes me when I say I'm both depressed and bipolar. 'Dad' refers to it as my 'teen angst' or that I'm just overreacting. He says that it's a regular teen thing.

Cynthia usually just repeats Larry's words, or says that she agrees with him. She probably couldn't cope with the fact her son was like that.

Whatever.

I placed my plate in the sink and walked outside without a single word. I waited by Zoe's car so she could drive me to school. I already know that the drive will be uncomfortable for both of us. Especially because of last night. I crossed my arms, impatient for Zoe to just come out so we can get this school day over with already. On cue, Zoe finally tumbles out of the dreaded household. She looked unsure, slowly and cautiously taking her steps towards my direction. Then she finally stood in front of me. She avoided eye contact for a second, before our eyes finally met.

"Connor..." she finally said, "I'm so sorry." For once she actually sounded sincere. But I knew it was fake. She would never care about me. If she did, she would need to start acting like it.

"It's fine... not your fault." I said quietly. Lies. She lifted my chin up.

"Hey," she said softly, "It's gonna be alright." She said tenderly with a genuine smile.

"Whatever you say, Zo. Let's just get to school." I didn't believe her one bit.

"Alright, Con." Zoe said before unlocking her car.

"Don't call me that." I stated with a glare, before hopping in.