LETS START AT THE BEGAINING(LAMS)

Chapter forty

JOHN POV

I could feel myself shattering inside as we sat at that funeral, who knew you could grow care for someone in so few months. The rest of the school year went by painfully slow and the dorm felt way to empty. Coming back to school the next year want to bad after the first week. I had a new roommate, Eli. He quickly became part of our group filling a hole that we all still felt. The year went by surprisingly fast and so did the next. Suddenly it was time for the real world. We all still got together often for the first two years, then we started getting more committed to work and families. Alex always at the back of my mind.

My first child, Sam, he knew my friends as aunt Peggy and uncle Herc and names like that. He knew of alex as well, a lot about him. I loved sam with all my heart, he was a smart boy, eyes just like his grandmother. My next child, Joshie, knew them all by their first names at least. He knew the name Alex seemed to mean something to me when I was younger but the impact of the name had faded. Joshie was reckless and wild, always up for a good time and could always make you laugh. He had a stunning resemblance to his mother. My third sone, Alex named after my father in law knew the names of a few of my friends but mainly just knew them as ' dads old school friends.'. Alex was a bad child, he never tried hard enough, he was disrespectful and rude. It's hard to think of a worse child. He looked exactly like my "father" had. He never acted much better.

NO POV

John walked in the door around 6pm after work.

" Dad!" Two voices yelled followed by two hugs almost knocking him over.

" hi guys what's up" John said playfully hugging the boys.

" I made The finals for the spelling be and guess what, guess what! I'm the only 7th grader who made it, the only one!" Sam bounced around energetically

" nice job" John praised

" Dad, Dad, guess what I did. I climbed all the way to the top of the slide from the bottom up then climbed up the the top of the slide cover and jumped in to the sand, I didn't even get a bruise!" Joshie called smiling " and all the little kids think i'm cool because i'm a 5th grader!"

" that's awesome" John said smiling at the boys. His face turned grim as he turned to look at the doorway of the entry room to where alex stood. " what about you"

" I... I..." Alex strutted with a bit of fear in his voice " I hit the center of the target every time in archery, and I got an 'A' on my essay."

" it's called a bullseye when you hit the c hater if the target" John said rolling his eyes at the dumb child, " your grades in writing don't matter, it's not like your going to be an author. Show me an 'A' in that advanced math your in?"

" I... I, actually got a 97 on my math te.." Alex started

" don't interrupt me you ungrateful child, why is your right arm all wrapped up?"

" they... um didn't have enough arm guards for everyone so I gave mine to one of the littler kids who might need it more." Alex said timidly

" you need to learn to stand up for yourself and not be so soft, take what you need. You left handed disgrace" John stood up walking past Alex leading the other boys out of the room, Joshie making sure to push alex in to the doorframe as he walked by.

John walked in to the living room and lovingly greeted his wife. After talking for a bit they all went in to the kitchen to have dinner.

" you should eat more, boy" John said to Alex" your too small and skinny, you could pass as a first grader!"

The meal went on for a while with a small conversations about how the day went but not much more

" you eat to much " John commented to Alex towards the end of dinner. Alex, looking ashamed put down his utensils and stopped eating.

As soon as the mean was over Alex got up and took his, his mothers, and his fathers plates to the sink. He cleaned them and set them on the drying rack.

" go get ready for showering boys" marthie gently told the boys not too long after dinner.

The boys raced upstairs to their rooms, of course, Alex being the youngest would have to shower last. He sat on his bed with a book while he patiently waited his turn. Just about when Sam was finishing his shower he heard a knock on the door. Before he could respond his father opened the door and stepped in.

" you didn't offer to take your brothers plates at dinner" John said frowning, alex opened his mouth to talked but was interrupted" i don't want any excuses but I won't want this to happen again, understand?"

" y...yes sir, I under st... stand" Alex stuttered

" and fix that stutter " john said closing the door behind him.

JOHN POV

Work kept me busy most of the time and I had to miss a few baseball games or science fairs but it always worked out for the best. I remember when I heard Hercules had dies, it was devastating. I was upset that I couldn't go to the funeral but work was more important at the time, and so was it the next and the next. Years passed and next thing I knew I was moving Sam in to his college dorm. Joshie was a sophomore and Alex was an 8th grader. Joshie was on the football team and very popular. Alex was a weird kid, he was smart I'll give him that much, He would say the most insightful things. People seemed to like him, but he was always so nervous as strange. Years passed and I had two in college and one out. I remember one day I passed by a very familiar looking man in the station, I have him a few dollars and moves on. I remember when I died. It wasn't the worst feeling but definitely not the best, I noticed a strange you man lurking in the corner of my vision as some man talked to me. the place I went first seemed somehow familiar. As I walked through my memories I saw who that man was, he was Alex. He was one of my best friends in college. I also saw some of the way my father tereated me and was filled with awful memories. Then I saw how I had treated my youngest son and realized the monster I had grown to be.

A/N i'm sorry, no i'm not. I'll continue to post their stories like this if you like. My keyboard is broken so this was hard to write. Thanks for all your help with the tumblr thing btw love y'all. Wanna be friends?

~ jade