hated ;; septiplier

; 16 ;

Jack's POV

Black. That's all I saw. Beeping and a male, quietly sobbing. That's what I heard. A warm, sweaty hand squeezing my own limp hand, and the occasional drip of water fall onto my arm. That's what I felt. I didn't want any of this to happen. I'm supposed to be dead. I'm not supposed to be here anymore. Why is that the one time I try to do it, someone stops me? It's stupid.

I was never supposed to be here. Even from the beginning. I was a mistake. Even if it wasn't true, my mother has said it enough to make me believe it. I was never supposed meet Mark, I was never supposed to fall in love with him. I was never supposed to be in this body. Everything fucking sucks. Why is life so cruel?

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream until my voice was raw. I wanted to tell Mark to go fuck off and leave. But, all that came out was a little, raspy, choked

"Why?"

I slowly opened my eyes, seeing Mark's beautiful grinning face. Those broken eyes filled with tears made me feel so much guilt. But, I needed to know...

"Why didn't you just let me die..?"

"Because I love you." He spoke was a raw, wavery voice. Those four words made me so fucking mad. It upset me so fucking much, for some odd reason.

"Why? The the fuck do you love a loser like me?!"  I spoke, rage flashing in my eyes. "WHY?!"  I yelled, despite my voice being raw.

"I... You're the the one that changed me, Sean... You... You h-helped me be a better person.." He spoke, sniffling. I sighed and cupped his soft cheeks into my hands and kissed him softly, pulling him down a bit.

It.. felt good to kiss him again. After so damn long, I was able to kiss Mark, the man I'd give up anything to be with. I wished it didn't have to end but, there I was, grinning like a dumbass, hands still cupping his cheeks. Mark started to giggle, and I did the best that I could, without sounding like a dying goat.

"I love you, Mark. I'm so.. So sorry.." I could just get lost in those eyes. Those bright, hazel eyes. God, I love him so much..

"I love you too, Sean." He makes Sean sound so hot when it falls from his lips. The first time in so long, Sean actually sounds.. Good.. Coming from someone.

"Pl-Please... Please never leave me, Mark. I don't think I can do it without you.." My voice wavers and my bottom lip quivers. Tears were forming in my eyes, blurring my vision slightly. Dammit, stop crying you big baby!

"I promise, I'll never leave. I'll always be here, no matter what," Mark is so nice. I don't deserve him at all. He deserves so much better than this Irish loser, laying in a hospital bed, deep cuts on his wrist and rope burn bruises on his neck all because he wanted to die.

"I don't deserve you. At all." Was all I said, nothing more. Nothing less. He looked shocked, which made me giggle on accident.

"I don't deserve someone as amazing as you, either." He smiled, eyes bright and glimmering. The sight made me giggle again and kiss him once more, sighing contently.

"I'd give up anything to be with you. Everything, if I have to. I love you too much to let you go." He whispered, pulling me into a tight hug, the smell of vanilla and honey present.

I finally felt happy.

But, I know that it wouldn't long.

It never does.