The Demons {COMPLETED}

Shannon: Part 1

Hey. It's Shannon, Shannon Jerryl. Don't go, it's me, alive. Get a snack, settle in because I'm about to tell you the story of my life more specifically why my life ended. And if you're reading this, you better learn something.

I'm not going to tell you which paragraph is going to explain why my life ended. The rules here are pretty simple, there are only two:

Rule number 1: you read till the end
Rule number 2: don't judge, keep an open mind.

Hopefully this will be easy, it's not supposed to be but hopefully. When you're done reading my story, reflect on how you treat others.

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The day I kissed Blake after our breakup at my party I wasn't proud. I had to make up an excuse so Rachel would forgive me. If I told her something else she wouldn't have believed me. I kissed Blake because I missed him so much and I wanted him, I couldn't be Shannon without Blake like how I couldn't be Shannon without Rachel or Chris. So you know what happened in 9th and 10th grade but you don't know as to why I gossiped about her.

The full story is Karen asked me what names I'd call Rachel if we weren't friends and I said those awful things. I regretted it so much. When Rachel found out I couldn't tell her that if we weren't friends I would've said those things. It would make me look like I didn't like her.

So 9th grade was hell. I'm the type of person to stick up for myself and tell a bitch when she crosses the line but I just couldn't tell nobody what they were doing hurt me.

When I found out Rachel and Blake were dating I swear I was about to cut her throat open. But I was happy for the both of them. Blake and Chris were so fake, Rachel dated the wrong person.

Blake would check up on me and make sure if I was okay. So you view Blake as some guy who is loyal and doesn't cheat and may argue with Rachel but loves her till death do they part but he isn't. Blake cheated on Rachel with me. He came over one night and apologized. We started making out and well your sweet Blake isn't so sweet.

I don't know if Rachel found out, I don't care if she did. You see I viewed Blake as someone who cared about me up until he spread rumors saying I gave people STI's and he said he wanted me to get hit by a bus, A BUS! That son of a female dog.

Rachel spread rumors saying that I was fake and that I was a bitch and I was a hoe, a slut, a whore, a pest and horrible things.

Chris, my dear Chris well he planned the bus thing, I swear he was crazy. Well he did go to an asylum.

I hated all of them. I wanted to kill them all. I wanted to slit their throats, I wanted to feed them to dogs, I wanted to do many horrible things to them.

You see I wanted Rachel to pay so bad, no I wanted ALL of them to pay. But how without everyone hating me?

Well dear reader there are so many amazing things you can ask at The Panther. You see Rachel and Chris thought the club consisted of thirsty, perverted old men but there were also devious guys, assassins, hit-man. Dear reader I basically owned The Panther on some level, people would come to The Panther to witness my dance moves. I danced for all these men and I had sex with them. In return I got fancy clothes, and any one of them at my command.

The Panther may have been a place for sex, prostitution, stripping, drugs, alcohol and many more but I felt safe. The Panther was my safe place from school. Those men treated me with better respect than my school and that says a lot for child predators, thirsty, perverted, assassins and hit-man. They made me feel wanted. They made me feel needed but there was something missing, love. No one loved me, not even my parents. No one ever loved me, not Rachel and not Blake. I know Chris loved me but it wasn't enough. Rachel and Blake never loved me and if they did they wouldn't have done this shit.

They wouldn't allow anyone to bully me and beat me up to a point were those people broke 3 of my ribs and gave me awful bruises. High school was pure hell and I wanted to so badly get hit by a bus.

Those people who claimed they were my friends hurt me so badly I wanted to die. They hurt me so bad I wanted to be invisible. My self esteem was crushed and I forgot what a smile was. I wore long sleeves, to cover up the self harm scars. I hated every inch of myself. I stopped looking left and right when crossing a road, I stopped loving and caring for myself.

Bullies destroyed me.

I died a little everyday. My parents didn't care about me. My older sister made home life absolutely unbearable.

One time my sister brought home her boyfriend. He was drunk. I was up reading a book and I knew she fell asleep because she always switched off her light and you could hear the light switch click off.

Her boyfriend then entered my room. This happened in 11th grade reader, the beginning of the year. He set my book aside and locked my door. He put duck tape around my mouth and tied me to my bed. He took of my clothes and he raped me. I cried the whole time. When he was done he looked at me and said, "hmm.... you're better than your sister." He untied me and I curled up under the blankets and cried.

I wasn't Shannon anymore, I wasn't the confident, bubbly, happy child I was once. I was an empty person. I was too empty.

The next day I went o a clinic to check for STI's, HIV and whether if I was pregnant. I cleared negative for all. For the pregnancy they gave me a morning after pill.

Three months before my Birthday I decided to delete some social platforms. I posted my feelings on Snapchat and Instagram. I posted sad depressing things. School was still hell. I prayed everyday for a bus to hit me.

No one cared like I expected. No one cares about me.

D1: you're useless Shannon
D2: you're stupid. You slut.
D3: no one will ever love you.
D4: kill yourself
D2: you'd do everyone a favor
D1: and you'd get rid of us.
D3: and you'll finally be happy Shannon
Shannon: I'll finally be happy. I'll be the same old Shannon if I kill myself.

And after that conversation I started planning.