All I ask

AIA.22 I ain't asking for forgiveness... all I ask...

Truth vs. Lies

Kairos Gregor Rouvin Dela Monte – Consunji – Vejar's

"Truth versus lies, Kairos. I dare you."

It was a game we used to play back when we were younger. It used to give us sleepless nights and endless laughter but now, I dread this game for I know that everything will be set free, but it will also hurt a lot for her and I.

"Lie one." Cachi said to me. Magkaharap kaming dalawa ngayon. "Na hindi na kita mahal. The moment I saw you in Seattle, I knew that I am in love with you, still but I was trying to do the right thing, Kairos. Alam kong may pamilya ka, alam kong hindi na simple ang lahat. Alam ko lahat iyon and I tried so hard to stand by the sides and watch you. You are a good man... a man torn between his responsibility and what he wants..."

Cachi looked as if she is going to cry. Well she is crying now, and I couldn't do anything. Kahit anong iwas ko, magkakasakitan kaming lahat – hindi lang kaming dalawa.

"Your turn." She sat on the cold tiles. Nakasandal siya sa pader and she was looking at me. Tinabihan ko siya at pareho kaming nakatingin ngayon sa kawalan. "Your turn..." She said. I swallowed.

"Truth one." I said. Bigla siyang humikbi. "I was in the hospital, Catherine. I knew that you went to the park and had an episode. I went there tapos nakita ko si Tatay Bong. We talked and he made me realized how spineless I was for marrying the biggest mistake of my life." Napakuyom ang mga palad ko. Because it was that – marrying Mariake is a mistake.

Hinawakan niya ang braso ko. It was her turn again.

"Truth one." Cachi said. "Remember the last time we spoke. Back in CLPH, the night I had an episode after holding your daughter – Danielle?" I nodded. "I went there because I wanted to tell you about Rom and Rem. I wanted you to fight for me, Kairos, I wanted you to choose me. It was something that I had dreamed about all these years, iyong kung ano kayang mangyayari kung ikaw ang susundo sa mga bata sa school, kung narinig mo si Rom at Rem na sinabi iyong first word nila which is FUCK." Medyo tumawa siya.

"That's their first word?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"You could just imagine my shock." Tumawa si Catherine habang pinapahid niya ang mga luha niya. Kinuha ko mula sa bulsa ko iyong panya tapos ay ibinigay ko iyon sa kanya. Suminga siya sa panyo ko. Natawa ako lalo. "Anyway... that's my truth one, what's your lie?"

Lalong humigpit ang hawak niya sa balikat ko.

"Lie one... that I looked for you." Her mouth parted. "'Cause, I didn't Cachi. Dione and Alele were always tempting me, telling me that I should go look for you, see if you were in Qatar or in Baguio or in any place. I really wanted to look for you, I wanna know what happened for the last years that we weren't talking but I didn't."

"Kasi naduwag ka?" She asked in a low voice.

"Kasi... tuwing nakikita ko si Mariake at ang mga bata, I feel..."

"Safe. That's what you're feeling. You didn't want to take a risk so you stayed with the safe one." Naiiyak siya habang nakatingin sa akin. Ipinatong ko ang kamay ko sa kamay niya.

"I feel complete, Catherine. Whenever I see her smiling at me, whenever I see her taking care of us, the kids I feel complete..."

Tumulo ang luha ni Cachi habang nakatingin sa akin. She bit her lower lip.

"You once said that you only felt your heart when you saw the twins..."

"For the last decade, Cachi, hindi ako completely na masaya. I felt like something in me had gone missing when you left, that maybe I should've tried harder when it comes to you... and when I saw the twins, I felt completely happy... hindi naging madali... pero masaya ako, that's why I felt my heart... na para bang may nabuo sa puso ko. The kids..."