S e v e n t e e n

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"Sometimes you only forgive people because you desperately want them in your life."

Instantly, as I had opened the front door of the bungalow belonging to Grandad, a smell of the home's usual ginger fragrance along with the warmth from inside hit me hard like a slap to the face. Compared to the frosty, winter scenery outside which I had seemed to grow somewhat accustomed to in the last hour or so of sitting outside enclosed in the darkness with the moon beaming brightly on my confused figure along with the stars which accompanied the moon. After I had been left completely alone once again with my own mess up thoughts I had decided that stay out for a little longer although my body was screaming no, I had ignored its pleads just like everyone ignored mine too. The extreme shakiness that had flown through my entire body along with my hands which had paled and ever so slightly lost their original colour into a murky and dead seeming one with undertones of purples hidden beneath it surely should have been enough for any normal person to have understood that their body was slowly reacting oddly. Looks like that doesn't exactly include me.

"I'm home," I bellow loudly as the slam of the front door rings in my ears. The muzzled noises of the TV were clearly heard in the hallway as I kicked off my worn out shoes and ripped off the scarf that had been tightly enclosed around my thin neck like a snake around its prey. I huff quietly when there is no answer from the living room so I shout again, this time louder than before, "Mum, Dad, Grandad? I'm home!"

Suddenly, I hear footsteps heading in my direction and as I lift my head up I notice the familiar lobsided and excited grin plastered on my mother's face as she watched me along with my shopping bag, feeling like a teenager who had just received her first ever phone.

Her arms immediately acted as an envelope as they enclosed my shivering figure to her boiling body in a loving hug, one that reminded me of ones where I was still an innocent child who had not properly been introduced to the world around me.

I nuzzled my head into her neck, enjoying the light-hearted and comforting moments I was currently sharing with my mum which I had been afraid would end very soon for a long, long time. Tightly, my arms fell to my mum's back and I squeezed her body tightly, afraid that the moment would quickly end with the mum I had missed for what seemed like years.

The mum I had missed for so long, the mum which in my mind had gone missing for years and didn't seem to come back.

It was like everything had changed in a matter of seconds. First, days before our home disaster, she had been annoyed at me, irritable and acting completely crazy. Then, a day or so after the robbery it's as if she had just faced a bomb exploding in her face, opening her eyes to the reality.

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