T w e n t y - T w o

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"We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are." - Max Depree

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all," I mutter as I stand alongside Ren at the entrance of the party staring down the door as if it was my worst enemy. I feel the shoulder nudge coming from Ren and turn my head to the side.

"Don't be silly, you've already come this far there's no way I'm letting you back out," she claims, making me look back nervously at the door where I could clearly hear the gentle music and chatter come from.

"Please remind me what part of me thought this was even a good idea," I ask as I run my shaky fingers through my beautifully curled golden locks.

Ren huffs loudly and turns my body making sure I am facing her fully before placing both of her petite hands on my boiling cheeks.

"You are going to do this," she says, full of confidence and determination, clearly not ready to let all her effort go to waste so quickly.

"We're not leaving this place until you give it a shot. I believe in you so you should also believe in yourself," she claims, "this is your night. Remember?"

My eyes lift upwards and with a shaky breath, I slowly nod in agreement.

"Now," she says with a pause as she drops her icy cold hands from my cooled cheeks and wraps an arm around my shoulder, "let's get this over and done with."

I take a deep breath and Ren reassuringly gives me a nod of encouragement as I open the doors only to be instantly greeted with thick, warm air and the gentle sounds of the classical music in the background as well as the strong smell of the classy beverages being served at the bar I could see in the distance along with the whiff of perfume.

Suffocating would be an understatement to the feeling the party was already giving off. I gaze over at the surroundings nervously only to see large crowds of people already milling around the area, constant chatter and laughter to be heard over the soft music.

"You good?" Ren asks apprehensively, her expression unsure and worried at what my next move would be. Honestly, I couldn't even predict so myself.

"Peachy," I reply before flashing a small reassuring smile in hope to make myself look slightly less like a breaking doll.

Just as I'm about to put my big girl boots on and guide Ren along with me to mill around with the guests in attempt to present myself a little more like someone who even belonged to this whole scenery, I see the two people I was dreading to see tonight.

Sure, my mother may have apologised but the scars and wounds they have both left with me over the years definitely wouldn't take seconds to heal up, it takes time for trust and forgiveness to come back.

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