A Tender Touch

\.Cold As Your Eyes./

Thursday, - December 29, 1988

"She's not...here.Should I - tell her something?"
I heard my grandma's voice from across the living room.A few seconds ago, we had heard the doorbell ringing and she went to open the door.
"Please, Mrs.Abelin...I know she's in there.Let me jus-"
"I said no.And that's how it is, young man."
Wait.Wasn't that Miles talking to her?I went to the door, approaching my grandma as she stood there still.
"Miles?"
I asked, looking at him.
"Mira!I - we have to talk...please, I - she didn't mean anything to me.It has always been you an-"
"No, we don't."
I blankly said, carefully placing my hand on my granni's back.I looked down at her blonde colored hair.
"It's ok granni, I can handle that myself."
I smiled as she raised her eyebrows at me before giving him an evil stare.
"Ok, sweetie."
She quickly walked away, leaving the two of us alone.
"Ok Miles, since I'm never ever in my whole entire life are going to come back to you - what exactly do you want from me?And make it short, I ain't got the whole damn day."
I looked at him with disgust - the only feeling that was left for him, the only emotion he deserved from me.
"Mira...Look, that thing with Louise - was...a mistake, ok?And yes, I did lie to you on that one.Bu-
"No buts.I seriously can't hear that anymore."
I lowered my voice.
"You wanted to have sex with me, knowing that you've got a damn girlfriend waiting for you at home.One day after Christmas."
I turned my head back to the floor, checking if someone could hear us since my whole family was playing cards in the living room.Then I closed the door behind me, leaving it only a little gap wide open while I tightly held on to the doorknob.I took a small step forward, pointing my finger at him.
"You...I gave you a...fucking second chance.I trusted you, thought that you changed for the better.I believed you."
I stared into his light blue eyes.
"Do you know what's funny about this word?"
I asked.
"What, fucking?"
I rolled my eyes, feeling the urge to punch him into his face right then and there.
"No!Believe.Inside this word is another one - and that my buddy, is called lie.Isn't that ironic?"
I smirked, turning around to get back inside the house as I felt him grabbing my arm, causing me to turn around.
"Mira, don't.You can't just give us up becau-"
"I can do whatever the fuck I please.And now - leave.Or I'll te-"
Suddenly I felt his lips being roughly pressed on mine as he pulled the door closed behind us, pushing me against it shortly after.The grip on my waist tightened as he slid his tongue into my mouth, leaving absolutely no space between us.I moaned, not for the fact that it was pleasurable but because the feeling of my back being so hardly pressed against the big wooden door started to hurt - very much.Unable to move because I still couldn't believe that he really thought I'd come back to him just because he kissed me, I stood there - still.Almost numb.
"Baby, I love you so much."
He whispered betweeen my parted lips as he started to suck on my bottom lip yet again.Then I started to realize what really happened and that I felt disgusted by the way he treated me, the same way he had been treating me for the last two years of our relationship.I bit his lip, very hard so that I caused him to curse.
"Fuck!Mira what the hell?"
I pushed him away, twisting the doorknob and opening it to get back in.Then I felt his grip on my arm again but I wasn't able to get away since he was much stronger than me.
"Mira, Mira, Mira...Do you really think that-"
He touched his lip, the blood now covering his thumb.
"would make me stop wanting you?And didn't you notice?Louise got just the same dark blonde hair, turquoise eyes and, of course not as breathtaking as you, but still a very hourglass shaped figure.She was just there to bridge the time until I'd see you again.She was just a mean to an end."
He shook his head, loosening his grip as I quickly pulled my arm away from his hand.
"You are the most...horrible person I've ever met."
I scoffed, smiling to myself.
"I seriously can't believe that I really was about to forgive someone like you.How could I?And with knowing that there's a very handsome and beautiful man who I really-"
I stared at him as I felt the door being fully opened by someone.
"Are you two...okay?"
My mom asked, looking worried.She gasped.
"Miles - what...what happened?"
She looked at his bloody lip, then back at me.He quickly faked one of his best smiles.
"Everything is just fine Beatrice.Just - I accidentally bit my lip earlier, that's why-"
"Don't you dare lie my mother right into her face.Don't.You.Dare."
I gave him an evil stare.
"Leave Miles, now.Or I'm starting to forget myself.It's OVER.O-V-E-R.And I'd rather go to hell than to ever crawl back to you."
I took a step forward, looking right into his eyes.
"I know what I've said, that everyone deserves a second chance.And god knows I was willing to forgive you.For your lies, your big ego, your selfish and materialistic self.I've loved you - almost my whole fucking life.
"Mira!"
I heard my grandma's voice from behind me.I turned around.
"Sorry granni, I'm almost done."
I turned back to him.
"You were everything I ever needed and I will, no matter how hard I'll try, never be able to forget you-"
He smiled, licking his lips.
"Stop smiling."
I dared him.
"The only reason I hate you is because you somehow managed to make me love you so much, for a long ass time."
I pressed my finger into his chest, gritting my teeth.
"But you - will never fool me again.You...will never be able to get me back.And believe me, I'm one of the loveliest and nicest people I know, always searching for the tiniest bit of shit that could bring a damn mean soul to shine.But your soul - is just as sad, empty, lost and cold as your eyes."
My mom carefully put her hand on my back, slightly rubbing it.He took a deep breath out, looking at the two women next to me, then into my eyes again.
"Mira...You know so well that there is still something between us.And I will fight for that, fight for you making it se-"
"I don't wanna hear it.Stop - talking."
He grabbed my hand, taking a step closer.
"Baby-"
And before I knew it, he had a red handprint plastered on his cheek.
"I am not your baby."
I glared at him.
"Fine."
He took a step backwards, nodding his head.
"Fine, I get it.But-"
He put his hand into the pocket of his coat, taking something out of it.
"I still got the tape.I kept it since Louise showed it to me and broke up."
He arrogantly smiled.
"Give me that!"
I raised my voice.
"This one?No no no.I'm sure I can use this sooner or later.And you'll fucking regret wha-"
Suddenly I saw my grandma coming out of the door, grabbing her glass of water and splashing all the liquid right into his face.She scoffed, proudly looking at the soaked face in front of her.
"Young man, to be honest with you - I don't appreciate all of this cursing inside our house.And the way you talk to my one and only granddaughter doesn't make me approve the way you act."
I couldn't hide my smile as I looked at a totally dumbfounded Miles.
"And now, I want you to leave our house."
She extended her arm to show him the way towards the street, down the stairs.
"Good."
He muttered, staring at me one last time.
"If I can't have you, there's no one else who should be happy with you."
Then he turned around, leaving me both shocked and afraid of what he meant.
...