langst one-shots

Friendless

OK HOLY FUCK I CAME BACK TO CHECK ON WATTPAD AND I SAW THAT THIS HAD 315 VIEWS LIKE ??? but thank you guys so much and it means a lot to me that people actually read this shit.
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Back on Earth, believe it or not, before Lance went to the Garrisons, he didn't have friends.
Now, there's two explanations for this. The first being the fact that his family used to move really often, out of state and overseas because of his dad's job. He never got the chance to build a strong friendship because of their constant moving, so he gave up. That was his second reason.
Why try making friends when you're just going to leave them?
Lance didn't know the answer to his unspoken question, so he left it at that. He used to have friends, a lot of them actually, but when his family first moved overseas, they just drifted away from him. He was only seven at the time so he didn't dwell on it and just managed to make more friends at his new home. Yet again, the same thing happened over and over again. By the age of 12, Lance had moved to different places about 8 different times and he'd fully given up on making friends, dubbing him the loner.
He never spoke to anyone, so no one spoke to him in return.
In all honesty, it was much easier for him not to make friends because he wouldn't need to keep mourning over more lost friendships and broken promises; that was his definition of any relationship Lance had once had: broken promises.
"We'll keep in touch!" Well where are you now exactly?
"I'm gonna miss you so much!" If you miss me so much then why haven't you contacted me?
"We'll visit sometime." Really? Then how come I haven't seen you in years?
Everything was just lies in his opinion.
As the years past, Lance had learned how to cope with no friends and put up a happy facade. It was good enough to trick his mom, so that's saying a lot. The real Lance was never ok, he never had been.
Dark thoughts originated from his real self, that tried to chip away at the facade. Cracks were made, but it never crumbled.
When the Cuban had finally made it to the Garrisons, he'd been stuck with two others, as a team. They were friendly enough and since he wasn't moving anytime soon, he decided to actually try and make friends.
Lance's facade became his main personality and soon, it had begun to be used every single day, no matter what. Sure, he did act himself sometimes, but it was never in a good way.
Panic attacks and self harm became frequent at the Garrisons.
No one knew about them, so he planned on keeping it that way.
Now back to the present, he was stranded in space with no hope of returning home.
Well shit.
With no one that knew about his constant panic attacks, he learned to yet again, cope with everything and how to solve his problems.
"Hey Lance are you ok?"
Anytime someone would ask that, they always received the same answer:
"Of course! How could a gorgeous specimen like me not be ok?"
An eye roll or a scoff was redirected at Lance's snarky remarks, time after time.
Every little action like that began to cause the cracks in his mask to spread.
"Sorry bud, I'm busy trying to figure out what type of food Yellow would like. Maybe another time?" Of course Hunk would say something like that, it's just his personality.
Pidge was just never available, since she was always typing away on her computer.
Shiro always was trying to bond with the black lion.
Keith was just doing whatever he normally does, which is normally training, but there were a few occasions when Lance saw him actually relaxing.
Coran had tried to improve his cooking skills by making more dishes for the paladins.
So that left Allura.
He'd been too much of a chicken to confront her at first, but once he did, he sure didn't regret it.
They had spent hours each day just talking about beauty routines and products, and just having spa days. Lance had learned about some new moisturizers and Allura had discovered new daily routines to do.
All said and done, the blue paladin had grown closer to her than he intended to.
It made what he was planning to do so much more difficult, but he carried on with his plans.
~
Lance was found dangling from the ceiling from a makeshift noose, and a note peaking out of his pocket. Allura had opened the note and found in Lance's neat handwriting, his last few words, "I guess I'm really good at acting."
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btw, the beginning portion of this is kinda a vent cause but just more over dramatic? shit ending, i know, but I'm tired and school's a bitch.
Edit: gUYS THIS IS KINDA CONFUSING TOO BUT LIKE I WANTED ALLURA TO BE THE GOOD GUY FOR ONCE AND NOT THE BITCHY PERSON THAT HATES ON LANCE. just needed to clear that up