I'm Here to Fix You - Broken Souls Series #2

You're a jerk

CHAPTER 5 - YOU'RE A JERK

SILVIA'S POV

"Thanks for the nice evening." I commented with a small smile once Matt pulled over by my building.

He smiled. "Thank you for seeing me again."

I chuckled. "Why, you thought I wouldn't?"

He shrugged, flustered. "Well, I thought I hadn't really-uh ... impressed you the first time, so I was already amazed that you said yes to a second time, and now a third ... I feel blessed."

I laughed. "Really? That sounds exaggerated."

"No, really ..." Wow, he looked serious. Why can't men just take things easy? What's the goddamn rush in everything?

"Matt, I ..." Time to cut off the rope already, I guess. Serves me right for going on more than one date. I like Matt, really, but ... I might have taken for granted we were on the same page while in fact we weren't. I thought it was going well, we could chill, take it slowly, no big deal, yet here we go ... third date, no kiss, no touchy feely whatsoever, yet he gets all serious. Damnit.

"No, please, don't say it, Silvia." Matt turned to me, his brown eyes showing something between fear and hesitation. "I only meant to say I didn't expect you to enjoy going out with me. That's all." He chuckled nervously. "I didn't mean to make it awkward, sorry."

"Why are you so surprised I want to hang out with you?" I questioned, confused. Tess says I look either angry all the time or too snobbish to bother, that must be why guys never approach me, she says. Did Matt too think I'm a snob? Damnit, all my life I've had people doing this. Why are you angry? What's wrong? Why are you so silent? Why are you such a bitch? It's just my goddamn face, people. Deal with it. It's not my fault if I look angry while in fact I'm just thinking, and as for smiling ... well, I've never been the smiley kind of girl, sorry.

Matt took a deep breath, as if readying himself to say something big. "Well, Silvia ..." he trailed off, his gaze fixating on the steering wheel, which was annoying per se, because, my God, man, if you gotta tell me something, just do it. Grow some balls, for God's sakes!

Ugh, forget that, these days I've got more balls than most guys my age.

"What is it?" I encouraged, also because I wanted to make it quick. I'm really not the romantically sighing and dreaming under the moonlight kind of girl, which is funny given my resolution to keep my virginity until I find the one man I'll love, but that's me, ladies and gentlemen. Silvia Living Contradiction Banchi.

"Well, the thing is ..." Matt hesitated, and I was one minute away from physically spilling it out of him. Ugh, indecisive people drive me insane. Goddamit, boy, it's not like you're asking me to marry you!

"Yes?" Before dawn, preferably.

He sighed. "You're a great woman, Silvia ..." Oh, boy, here we go ... you're a great woman, Silvia, but you seem always so detached, so distant, it feels like you're not quite there. Story of my life. Never enough there. Does that even make sense? I've had so many guys telling me 'I'm not enough there', what the hell does that even mean? I space out while they talk to me? Doesn't seem like it. Then what?

"Please, Matt, don't beat around the bush, just say it." Hopefully I didn't sound snappy. I think I might be nearing PMS. Okay, maybe men are stupid for assuming we're cranky due to PMS, but that doesn't mean they're always wrong. Not in my case. Tess too says I turn into psycho when I'm on my period.

He sighed. "Okay, here's the thing ... you're a great woman, Silvia, and ... I really like you, but ..."

"Let me guess, I'm not enough there?" I quoted with my fingers.