I'm Here to Fix You - Broken Souls Series #2

The bad boy and the jock

This chapter is pretty long, sorry about that, but I'd rather not split it. I had a lot of fun writing it, hope you'll have fun reading it :)

CHAPTER 25 - THE BAD BOY AND THE JOCK

RYAN'S POV

"I'm sure it's not how you think it is, darling." My grandma repeated for the third time, while I paced her living room.

"Seriously? She was there clung to him! And she didn't even deny it!" This is ridiculous. I thought she'd be glad. I did all I could to switch plane ticket, I paid off some guy at the airport to convince him to leave a day later just so I could take the plane earlier and be with Silvia by midnight, but guess what, I got screwed. Again.

I don't wanna think she did it, but how can I not? She was there, clung to him so tightly, and she didn't seem willing to let go. Hell, I saw it so clearly, it was him to let go, not her. She didn't pull back, not even when she saw me, it was him to do so. What should I think?

When I arrived at Tess', she told me they'd been playing this stupid game, and Silvia was stuck in the closet with Jake. I thought ok, nothing wrong with that, but when I got there I saw her clung to him, and I ... thought of the worst.

I saw Alicia again, entangled with Jeff. I saw my girlfriend and my best friend so taken, so lost in their passionate sex that it took them a few minutes to finally acknowledge I was right there. The same now, Silvia was there, all lost in her "friend's" embrace, as if I never even existed to her, as if she didn't care for anything else in this world, as if ... as if his arms were the sole place she craved to be in.

"Darling, you know Silvia. She wouldn't do that to you." Granny repeated.

"Yeah, I thought Alicia wouldn't either, yet look at how it went ..." I was convinced Alicia and I were fine, she couldn't have a reason to cheat because we were good together. I loved her, I didn't neglect her in any way, I gave her all I could. Yet it turns out, she was screwing my best friend on the side. The truth is, you can never really know the people around you.

I thought I knew Silvia, at least enough to trust her, but ... once again my stupid determination to see the good in people has come back to bite my ass.

Sighing, I dropped against the wall, crawling to the floor, stupidly nervous tears fogging my sight. "What do I do now? She didn't even deny it." When I faced her, asking her for an explanation, she could barely answer me. She didn't fight back, didn't say a single word. When I said I'd go back to Aspen she didn't even stop me. As if she couldn't care less.

What if right now I'm here torn by doubt yet she's all happily clung to her Jake? Maybe that's why she didn't want to come to Aspen, just so she'd be with him. Maybe that's why she keeps on dithering, because she's not sure of us. She's not sure of us because there's him. There's always going to be him.

"It's a lost cause, isn't it, granny?" I wondered out loud. "I'm never gonna win, am I? He's always there, he's always gonna be there ..."

"She loves you."

"Maybe, but I think she also loves him."

"How do you know?"

"Gran ... you haven't seen them." I sighed, raking a hand over my face. "When they're in the same room it's like there's nothing else for them." He does that. I've seen it. I would be stupid not to realize it. He's in love with her, I know he is. I don't even need to be told, it's so freaking clear just by the look in his eyes when he sees her. I know that look. I see it every day in the mirror.

It's the look of a man that's so hopelessly taken as to even lose himself for her. I know how's it like to love like that, because I do.

It wouldn't bother me, but I keep wondering ... does she feel the same? She denies, she seems fine with me, but I know she misses him. Sometimes she talks about the office, recounting anecdotes, but when it gets to him, she stops herself mid-sentence, and I see it, I read it on her face just how much it pains her not to be able to even only talk to him. I've always wanted to believe it was just because she cares about him as a friend, but is it just that?