Taylor Caniff Imagine

Taylor Caniff Imagine Part 11

YOUR POV

Never did I think that those words would be uttered by my love, Taylor Caniff.

I lost him once, and just when I was about to find him, he was lost again.

I let him slip out of my fingertips. He was barely holding onto my love, and that is evident from the fight that occurred. I looked down at my watch. Shit. Time for a checkup.

I got up from my hospital bed and headed towards the door. But before I left, something caught my eye.

My purse from that dreadful night.

I am debating whether to open it or not.

Screw it, I'm opening it. I started looking through everything that was in there. My lipstick, some gum, mascara, my phone. To my surprise my phone wasn't cracked, but I felt my heart drop when I pulled out the necklace Austin gave to me. He's a little piece of shi-

"Y/N its time for your checkup." My thoughts were interrupted by my doctor. "I knocked on the door but there was no answer."

"Oh, sorry," I said while rubbing my eyes, trying to make my exhaustion evident so he'll hurry up.

"This won't be long." He said. Perfect. "Let me just see your leg and check your vital signs and then we're good to go." And he did just that.

"So Y/N, how are you feeling?"

I'm feeling like complete and absolute shit man. "I'm feeling alright." I replied. Lies, lies, and more lies.

"Thats great, anyways, everything seems to be alright, although you will have a scar where that big cut on your leg is, but you can look into fading it away by using treatments. You can finally go home tomorrow morning!" He said with a wide smile.

For some weird reason, I didn't want to leave this place. This has become home to me. I spent so much time thinking here, reasoning out my life, it almost feels as if my actual home is a whole other world. It feels like nothing exists beyond these hospital walls.

I don't want to go home and not see Taylor anymore. I want to be in the same building as him, knowing that hes within reach. But sadly, the reality of it all is, that hes out of my reach.

Hes gone. Everything that him and I had, no longer exists. Again, my thoughts were interrupted by my doctor.

"And your friend Taylor will be home in about 2 days. We just want to see his sleeping patterns and if they differ because of the accident that took place."

"Alright, I guess." I replied coldly.

"Alright," he started to get up, "well, it was a pleasure having you here. Maybe not a pleasure for you, but you know what I mean," he scratched his head and then smiled, "okay bye now, stay out of trouble. Also, before you leave, visit the secretary so she can fill you in on any extra stuff such as prescription reminders"

"Okay, thankyou for everything, bye." I said back. Its weird, knowing that this doctor, who basically saved my life, will never reappear in my life again. Once he walks out that door and shuts it, that will be the last time I will ever see him, in my entire existence. 

I laid down on my hospital bed and took out a pen and paper. When I first came to this hospital, I discovered 5 big problems with my situation. I decided to add to that list of problems. I now have a total of 7 problems.

Problem #6. Ignorance is bliss; basically, what you don't know, won't hurt you, and that is exactly why I am more heartbroken now, than ever. Watching Taylors heart rising and falling while he was sleeping in his hospital bed, was sad, but not as sad as this moment. I truly thought that Taylor would take me back, not tell me that he didn't want to see me anymore. Those words hurt me. More than this 4 inch deep cut on my leg. I would take that cut anyday instead of not having Taylor.

Problem #7. The fact that I would take that cut anyday instead of not having Taylor, really scares me. I know somethings wrong with me at this point, and putting my life at risk for somebody else, really really really scares me. It shows me that basically, this person means the world to me, nothing else matters, I'd rather die than not have this person, that I will never get over this person, I really don-

Wait a second, how could Taylor risk his life for me, and then say that he doesn't want me anymore. Is this how Taylor used to feel about me? Problem number 7? There must be more to the story. You just don't simply risk your life for someone and then think, eh, nah, I dont want them anymore. 

If it is true that Taylor doesn't want to see me again, then that just shows how worthless the human body is. It shows that he will just risk his body, knowing he has to deal with the consequences, but then not find comfort in the person that he was trying to save. 

I'm going crazy with my thoughts, and I'm doing something that I haven't done in a long time, overthink.

Screw this hospital gown, screw being vulnerable, screw love, screw 'finding true happiness', screw regrets, and screw feeling guilty for something thats not your fault. Taylor made the choices he did, and even though I know that by tomorrow I will be in my bedroom, lying on my bed, crying about how I am overthinking everything and how I messed everything up, but you know what, screw that too, because in this moment, I feel over-confident, and I feel great. 

Problem number seven is no longer a real problem. It is now a mission, maybe even a goal, to find out what the hell is going through Taylor Caniffs crazy head, and to find out, whether he still loves me or not...

Problem number 7, oh you will be the death of me.