Eleanor never really stood a chance.
Her mother was in love with a married man and a little bit crazy. And even though Eleanor's tired mother hated children, she was convinced that he would love her too if they just had a child together.
That's how...
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"Casey," I'm getting even more anxious now and after what just happened with Micah, I can feel my breaths starting to get short and my throat is tightening. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Josie had a nightmare. When I tried to wake her up, she started freaking out. She told me what Davis did to her. Did he do that to you too?"
"No," I lie because I never wanted him to find out about how Davis violated me back when we were living at that house. I don't want him to know that that kind of evil exists in this world and I don't want him to think of me like some flawed person. And I don't want him to feel guilty, which I think that he will, if he realizes that Davis used him to get to me.
"Ellie," He sighs and he looks like he's about to cry. I have to focus on my breathing so that I don't spiral into a full-blown panic attack. "Somebody who does something like that to somebody doesn't just start doing it out of nowhere. You lived with him for ten years and he never hurt you?"
"Casey," I step closer to him and glance over at Josie who is still sleeping because we're talking pretty quietly. "We haven't lived in that house for four years. It doesn't matter what happened there, it's over."
"You basically just admitted to it," He calls me out. "Ellie. Why won't you tell me what's going on? If he was hurting you, why wouldn't you leave?"
"And leave you, Case?" I look at him. It's useless now to deny what happened because he's pretty convinced now.
"You should have, yes. I would have understood," He insists. "I mean, I knew that Davis was an asshole but I didn't know that he was a monster. Why didn't you at least tell the social worker? They would have locked him up. Why didn't you do anything?"
"Let's go talk in your room, we shouldn't wake Josie up," I pull him into the hallway and then into his room. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to know. There's nothing good that can come out of you knowing about what I went through there. Yes, okay, it was hell but I wasn't going to leave you there. I couldn't abandon you."
"But I would have understood!" He insists and now he's starting to cry. "How long was it happening?"
"Casey, you can't blame yourself for this."
"You only stayed there because of me. That's what you're saying, isn't it? If I wasn't there, you could have done something about it, you could have gotten out of that house. How long was it happening, Ellie?"
I sit down on the edge of his bed. "A while, I guess."
"A number," He insists.
I take a deep breath just trying to fight off this creeping anxiety. I need to calm down but Casey is freaking out too and I can tell that he's not going to let this go until he gets answers. "Six years."
He starts crying harder and he sits down beside me. "How am I worth that? How could you stand that at all?"
"Hey, stop crying," I say gently as I wrap my arm around his shoulders. "You are a thousand percent worth it. Alright, and it wasn't just that if I left, I'd be abandoning you. Davis knew that you were the only thing that I cared about and he used that against me. He threatened you to keep me quiet. If I left, I wouldn't have been abandoning you, I would probably would have been killing you."
