Love Child

40- In Particular

What turn of body, what of lust
Undiced?
So we've worshipped you a little
More than Christ.
- Djuna Barnes, In Particular

Waking up in the hotel, I feel a lot better than I felt the day before. I'm snuggled up in Micah's plaid button up shirt with my cheek pressed against his bare chest as he breathes in and out in deep breaths.

"Good morning," He quietly greets me. I look up at him. He's been on his phone, waiting for me to wake up. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," I say and then I yawn. I roll off of him to stretch and as I do so, the plaid shirt that I'm wearing falls off of my shoulder and exposes one of my bare boobs underneath. I notice him glance down at my chest, so I'm slow to cover myself back up. "I don't usually let myself get so caught up in the past like that. I've worked so hard on just putting my childhood behind me and moving forward. Hearing what Bonnie had to say shouldn't have upset me so much."

"You can't condition yourself not to feel things," He runs his fingers slowly through my hair. It's mostly tangled, so he gives up after a few moments and just rests his large hand fondly on top of my head.

"I shouldn't have dragged you out here," I mutter apologetically. "But thank you for coming with me."

"Hey, everybody needs a road trip sometimes. Even if we end up in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania," He says with a charming little smile. "I've been talking to Jay to see what's going on. Bonnie is gone, but she did stop by their house this morning to tell the rest of Silas's family the truth."

"Does it matter to them that he knew where I was this whole time?" I wonder curiously. "It doesn't affect them much."

"Jay is pretty upset about it," Micah answers me. "Maryanne too, actually. I mean, she has a family of her own now, so she understands the bond between a parent and a child, and how much of an asshole you must be to neglect your child for so long."

"I don't care about that family," I inform him. "I'm sorry. I know that Jay is your friend, but I don't want anything to do with them."

"Alright," He goes along with it and puts his phone down on the nightstand. "Are you hungry?"

I give him a mischievous smile and kiss his chest. "Yes, I am."

By the look I gave him, Micah can tell exactly what I want for breakfast, and it makes him smile, but he puts his hand on the side of my face to stop me from lowering my kisses. "Eleanor," He says my name in a breathy voice. "You sure you want to do this right now? Yesterday was really intense for you."

"It's done," I remind him. "It doesn't matter who knew what or why I was left in that foster home. It happened. It's over. What matters to me is what's happening right now, not what happened fourteen years ago," I kiss his chest again as my hand slides down his body until it's resting on his crotch, over the blanket. "And what's happening right now is that it feels like you don't want me to stop."

"Of course I don't want you to stop," His voice is continuing to get softer, especially with my hand where it is. "I'm just worried about you."

"I'm bitter," I admit to him. "But I'm always bitter. I'll get over it. If you're not into it right now, we'll just order room service."

"No," He says quickly and then immediately releases my chin from his gentle grip. "If you're sure that it's okay, who am I to stop you?"

I grin up at him just as he leans back into the pillows. I dig through the blanket and then quickly get his boxers off, tossing them to the side of the bed. I look up to see Micah's head back, his eyes closed, waiting for what's about to happen.