About Us [Jikook] [kookmin]

Chapter 2: My little princess

Jungkook couldn't sleep. He stares at his daughter's sleeping face. He caresses her cheeks and kisses her forehead. He slowly gets out of her daughter's room and walks towards the living room. He sat on the couch and starts to think about his life. Their life.

True, he has nothing. Nothing to give Sayu everything that she might probably need. Maybe once in a while Jungkook would cut his portion so that Sayu would be eating well. Maybe there's a time where Sayu would have to sleep in a bundle of old thick blanket to keep her warm while Jungkook only have his old shabby sweater to sleep that night. Maybe their apartment is too old and small for them. And there's time where they have to sneak into the mall's bathroom to take a shower because Jungkook couldn't afford to pay the bills. But still, they're okay. They survived.

Jungkook will never make his daughter to feel burden. He tried his best to provide everything that she needs. Maybe not everything, but it was enough.

Jungkook remembers that one time, the first time he cried so hard in his life. Sayu was 8 months old and she keeps on crying until 3 am in the morning. Jungkook tried. He tried everything that he can to soothe her but he can't. He runs towards the emergency room with Sayu, securely wrapped in his arms. He panicked when she wouldn't stop crying. Once the doctor told him that she was fine, he burst into tears. He hold her in his arms and repeatedly murmurs his apologizes to her. He didn't know what exactly he apologize for, but he didn't think that he's a good father for her. He was so young and naïve. He was scared too.

It wasn't her fault, it wasn't his fault either. He was just scared. He's scared of life, on how Sayu's life would turn out. He just wish that he could be everything that Sayu needs now. And if he could do that, he's satisfied. He won't ask for something more.

"Daddy?" Sayu's sleepy voice snaps Jungkook out of his thoughts.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" she asks again, fist rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"Daddy can't sleep. Why don't you go back to sleep first?" he grabs Sayu's small hands and guide her back to her bedroom.

Once Sayu has fallen asleep, Jungkook looks at her with smiles on his face. Yeah, he didn't regret any of this.

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*Flashback 6 years ago*

"Jungkook I can't do this. I—I just can't"

Jungkook looks at his girlfriend's face. It hurts him when he sees her crying like that. He slowly walks towards her, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. Sayu is sleeping soundly in her crib. She was just 4 months old.

"Noona, we can do this. You're doing great." Jungkook tried to hug her but she pushes jungkook away.

"NO! you don't understand Jungkook! She hates me! She always cries when I hold her and she never, NEVER smile when I'm around. why did she calms down when she's with you? I'm her mother for god sake!!" Naeun shouts her heart out. She cried and cried, didn't even care if Sayu's going to wake up.

Jungkook quickly grabs her hand and leads her toward the living room, away from Sayu.

"God, noona, she's a baby. It's normal for her to cry. And she loves you, you're her mother. She didn't hate you, it's normal for her to cry." Jungkook tried to soothe her. He caresses her back slowly. Naeun just keeps on crying, she's depressed. Jungkook knows that.

Jungkook completely understands that she's afraid, they're too young to be parents. She's four years older than him, but her heart and mind is much younger than his. It's normal for her to be scared. Not gonna lie, he's scared too. In fact, he's terrified on how the future would be.

"Then why didn't she cries when she's with you?" Naeun frowns, she looks annoyed, angry? Jungkook didn't sure. But he knows she's not in her right mind. She just need space on her own for a little while.

"Jungkook ah, let's give her to adoption." Naeun turns around, facing jungkook, cups his face with her hands, looking straight into jungkook's eyes with seriousness on her face.

Oh how jungkook wish she was making a joke right now. A very bad joke too.

"Noona! What are you talking about!? She's our daughter! Are you insane!?" Jungkook shouts, he can't believe what she said. He quickly stands up, palming his face. He needs to calm down, Naeun is not in her right mind right now.

"I can't do this anymore! Why can't you understand!! We'll be fine without her" Naeun shouts back. Jungkook shakes his head. He couldn't listen to this bullshit anymore. He takes his jacket and dashes out of the house, leaving her alone.

Later that night, when Jungkook came back, he saw his girlfriend, sleeping on the couch. He takes out some blanket and wraps her body with that. he kisses her forehead while muttering 'I don't blame you'.

Jungkook walks to Sayu's room to check on her. He smiles while looking at how calm Sayu looks when she's asleep. He kisses her forehead, eyes never leaving her angelic face.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry"

The night ends with jungkook, silently crying by Sayu's crib. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't Naeun's fault too. It's just too early for them.

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