About Us [Jikook] [kookmin]

Chapter 16: Crushing Down

"Jungkook?" Jimin is surprised seeing his boyfriend standing in front of the Elderly's Oak so early.

Jungkook didn't say anything nor did he move. He keeps on staring at Jimin. In fact, he's been staring at him for a while now, only Jimin didn't seem to realize it until now. He didn't need anything. He just need to see Jimin.

"Jungkook ah, why are you here?" Jimin notices the changes in Jungkook's expression. His boyfriend looks so down and troubled. Jimin was about to touch Jungkook's cheek when Jungkook pull away from him. Jimin would be lying if he didn't feel a bit hurt by Jungkook's action but he just keep cool about it.

"We... we need to talk. Somewhere in private" Jungkook manage to talk with his voice cracking up a bit.

Jimin nods and leads him towards the nurses' lounge at the back. Jimin closes the door and walks to Jungkook, still afraid to touch Jungkook. To his surprise, Jungkook suddenly pulls him to a hug. He can feels that Jungkook is crying while hugging him. He draws circles on Jungkook's back hoping that it could calm him down.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry..... I'm sorry.... I'm sorry" Jungkook cries while mumbling.

Jimin lets Jungkook to release all his feeling and let him talk when he's ready. Once Jungkook calms down a bit, he started to talk with Jimin. He tells Jimin everything that Mr. Lee told him.

"Baby, I'm sorry, but we must be more careful about our relationship now. I don't want other parents to bump into us and spread other news. I'm sorry, I just don't want to harm Sayu. I know I'm being selfish but I love both of you and I don't want any of you to suffer because of me" Jungkook grabs his hair in frustration, unable to look into Jimin's eyes.

"Jungkook, you did good. You make the best decision ever. Let's just be more careful, okay?" Jimin smiles while hugging Jungkook again. He could hear Jungkook muffles some 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry'. Jimin can only hums in responds.

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Days passes by and both of them do a really good job at maintaining their distance in public. Even though things seems to look normal on the outside, both of them can feel slight awkwardness in the air once they're alone.

Jimin has been staying up late these few days. He keeps on getting nightmares about his past and when he wakes up, Jungkook wasn't sleeping with him. There are other times too when Jimin purposely 'fallen asleep' in Sayu's room to avoid Jungkook. They didn't know why but awkwardness keeps on dancing around them no matter how much they tried to get rid of it, it just wouldn't work.

The problem is, Jimin is feeling guilty because he felt that he's the cause for this problem while Jungkook is feeling guilty for not be able to shower Jimin with love in front of others. Sure, Jimin is young and he needs to feel a normal love like others. But he couldn't give that to him.

"Jungkook ah. Can we talk?" Jimin said as soon as Sayu falls asleep. Jungkook nods and follow Jimin to the living room. Once they sit down, Jimin starts to talk.

"I think we need a break"

Jungkook was so shocked. He didn't expect this from Jimin.

"I've thought about this. Living like this is exhausting Jungkook. What if we got caught? What if they saw us together again? What if Sayu accidentally talk about us? There's so many 'what if' that my brain can't think anymore Jungkook ah. I really—I really didn't want Sayu to feel what I felt before because to be in that situation is hurt. It hurts so much Jungkook. I can't imagine if that happens to Sayu. I can't forgive myself if that's happen!" Jimin palms his face with his hands.

"We--- we can be more careful... we just need to tell Sayu to not say anything... *sigh* Jimin, I'm thinking for Sayu too. And I know she needs you. She loves you a lot. Did you ever think what will happened if you walk away? How would she feel about it? I know I'm being selfish but we still can think about this. This is not the only solution. We can—"

"We can do nothing when they know about this! All we can do is to feel regret. And I don't want that. Sayu—I love her. I love her so much! No matter what others said, she's still going to be my daughter, forever and always." Jimin starts to get frustrated in this situation. He need to do something. He can't be a burden for them anymore.

"Sayu was fine before I came, and she will be fine with you. Jungkook ah, I'm not cutting any relationship with her, I will treat her the same. The problem is us. We can't keep doing this. We need to stop this. I don't want to hurt her."

As much as Jungkook hates this, Jimin is right. He has no choice. If they keep on going like this, Sayu might get into troubles and he would never forgives himself for that.

"I'll be leaving tomorrow. Don't worry. I'll talk to Sayu."

Jungkook only able to nod his head. He couldn't bring himself to say another word anymore. The only thing that he knows is he has hurt Jimin. He has failed to protect both of his beloved one as he needs to choose to protect only one of them. Jungkook and Jimin spends their last night hugging each other to sleep. As much as they know they need to stop, they need this. They need each other's warm to calm themselves down.

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