Let's Play A Game, Alpha

14 - The 5 Stages of Grief

Silence followed Vaughn's mortifying words. My heart dropped straight to my toes. Scenarios of the worst things possible ran through my mind, each bringing along just a bit more blinding panic. I took a deep breath, unable to think a single coherent thought. It felt as though the rest of me had been detached from my brain. I went through the five stages of grief.

Denial: "Flora is not gone! Have you checked the whole house? She's 6, she would never just wander off. The doors were locked. Maybe she got hungry or went to the bathroom. Flora was fast asleep when we left her. There is just absolutely no way she could be missing. How is that even possible?"

Anger: "This is all your fault, Lucian! I hate you. You are nothing to me anymore. I hate you so much. This is all your fault! God, if you were just a bit more careful, this would never have happened! My sister is missing because you couldn't put extra security around her room! Who does something like that? You are a damn billionaire, Lucian. The least you could have done was to make sure nothing happened to her. Actually, you know what? I don't hate you. I hate myself. God, I'm so stupid!"

Bargaining: "Maybe we can get her back. Maybe she's just somewhere inside the house still. If only we just checked on her sooner.....call someone, Lucian! Do something. I'll do whatever they ask for. Maybe she's still safe and alive. Maybe..."

Depression: "Flora's gone, isn't she? She's dead. Oh God, I'm a horrible sister. I hate myself. This is all my fault. She was all I had left and I was all she had left. There is no one else in the world. God, kill me now. I hate myself. I want to die."

I never quite worked my way into Acceptance.

Panic gripped my chest so hard that it became harder to breathe. Lucian was saying something to Vaughn, but I tuned them out. Miserable tears etched their way down my face, and racking sobs shook my entire body.

"Victoria!" Lucian's rough yell snapped me back to reality. I began pacing up and down in front of him and Vaughn like a madman, wringing my hands painfully and muttering incoherent sentences about my missing sister. I hadn't even a clue what I was saying myself. Shock numbed my head, making everything seem foggy. Lucian grabbed the side of my arms and pulled me hard against him.

"You need to calm down!" he growled into my face. Lucian's clear silver eyes helped clear my head. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I forced myself to calm down. The hysteria I felt before was wearing off, followed by embarrassment for my outburst. I couldn't freak out like that again if I wanted Flora back.

But I was angry.

I suppose I hadn't exactly finished that stage yet.

"Don't touch me." I placed my hands on either side of his chest and pushed with as much force as I could muster. But Lucian didn't budge an inch. He merely tightened his fingers around my arms until I thought it might snap in half. With a silent growl, he released and gently shoved me back. I stumbled away and out the door, my hands shaking. Lucian started shouting something at Vaughn but by that time I was too far away to make out the words.

I ran all the way to Flora's room. The bed was messed up. I noticed one of the sheets missing from the bed. At least her kidnappers had been nice enough to see that she had been warm. The balcony door was slightly ajar. Other than that, nothing else seemed out of place. I gripped the doorknob, fresh tears itching my eyes. Bile rose in my throat, bitter and tasteless.

I walked over to the bed, my mind dizzy with fear. Something silver caught my eye as I searched for any clues. It was partially hidden under the bed. Reaching down, my fingers wrapped around the object. I held it up to the moonlight. It was a jade pendant with intricate golden designs on a long chain. When I looked closer, I saw that the golden swirls actually made up the shape of a howling wolf. The necklace almost pulsed in my hand. I felt a strange pull towards it, a feeling I could not quite place. The jade seemed to paralyze me.