ader

shouldn't and should

it all started with my friends.

we were walking along the street when we saw you from a far. they were really ecstatic to see you knowing i was crushing on you for the past weeks. you know friends, they were always supportive of me.

a little bit too supportive, i guess.

being the shy type, i tried to avoid any MORE embarrassment from them. i silently walked behind, head down as they kept on giggling as if they were the ones crushing on you.

as we crossed paths, i sensed something odd and from that very second i knew you were looking at our direction.

again, my stupid friends kept on teasing me, saying he stopped and looked at me for a sec and all that drama.

traitors.

one of the masterminds of our group said i should stop being a pussy and just talk to him through messenger. she even told me in a 'duh' tone saying he wouldn't see my face when i do that and it's just gonna be one of those normal petty talks teenagers experience.

of course at first i declined. who the hell would agree to that right? but being the pursuasive idiots they are, i was convinced to do so anyways.

later that night, i messaged you. then you replied and saying that you think you saw me before.

lol funny you remembered that.

i said 'yeah, you did' and there our first conversation started.

we kept on talking and stopped early morning.

it felt so good talking to you. it felt so ethereal.

i was expecting 'your-crush-chats-you-and-you-squirm-like-some-crazy-teenage-girl' scenario but no, talking to you felt way different. different in the state that i'd be afraid to reply later than 3 minutes, different in the state that i'm afraid that the connection will suddenly slow down and i wouldn't be able to talk to you properly.

the following days, i kept on thinking about everything, it was like sudden hit. i told my friends every single thing, they were happy for me and even though i hated it, so was i.

however, one of them warned me about him, she said i shouldn't get too attached because she had an impression of good looking guys being hundred percent idiots and should be the last thing girls would want in their lives.

i almost laughed out my lungs at her because of that.

me? getting attached? to him? impossible.

yeah, he may be my crush and all but i ain't stupid to go deeper than that.

after our so called 'first conversation', it was followed by tons of conversations but one of the unfogettable conversations was the time he called me for the very first time.

HE called me.

the moment i saw an unknown number flashing on my screen, without any hesitation, i screamed at the top of my lungs.

where the hell did he even get my number?

unluckily to my screaming, my mother came rushing at my door with an invisible 'wtf' paper stapled at her forehead.

mom: "what is happening here? why you screaming in the middle of the night?!"

i said, "mom it's just some insect flying at me no need to worry" i said with a sly smile.