Loves a Fight

Chapter XLI Noels P.O.V

I used to fight for a living you know...
Nothing could ever get under my skin.
My father used to beat me on his free time.
Something as small as the only person I have ever loved treating me like shit shouldn't have affected me like it did, but it did.
I wish I could go back in time and never beat Liam up.
Then none of this would have ever happened.
I would still be living with my dad and fighting everyone like a badass.
Instead I am trapped in love with a monster.

The sun has now risen above the trees outside my balcony.
Something so minimal, yet so beautiful.
As I kid I always wanted to be a photographer.
I loved how the sky and world looked on even the gloomiest of days.
After my mom died I threw my camera away.
So many times I believed in a brighter fate, but that moment my view on the world changed.
I didn't believe there was anything to see that had as much beauty as my mother did.
Nothing compares...

Noise can be heard from the floor below me.
I don't want to leave this spot as I look out upon the world.
The sight reminding me of the good old days.
The times where I would laugh out at the funny things.
Times where I could hug people out of joy and hold my mom's hand.

My bedroom door opens, but I don't move.
I feel someone looking at me, but I don't care.
I'm not in the mood to fight with people.
All I want to do is remember times where I didn't feel like had to kill myself to be happy again.
Times where I could laugh and smile without feeling weak...

"I brought you breakfast..." A voice that used to bring me so much joy says hopefully.
He shattered my trust when he took Kains side.
I can't believe after everything he chose Kain over me...

"Just leave Joey... Go home..." I whisper still looking out at the trees.
The winds softly blowing the leaves and making a soft noise that soothes even the most tainted of hearts.
The noise reminds me fo when me and my mom would go to the park and just sit on the bench.
We would listen to the world and just think about everything...

"I don't want to leave you..." He whispers with a sad voice.
I know I am breaking his heart, but he shattered mine.
That man has caused me so much pain...
He seriously believes that Kain has room in his black heart to love me?
I thought that once and look where it got me...
I tried to kill myself in that bathroom...

I move to where he stands looking at me.
My eyes never looking up into his.
If I look at him I know I will break.
He is making me live with a monster...

"Please Noel..." He whispers as I just hug him.
He inhales shakily making my heart hurt.
I don't want to see someone I considered family cry, but family helps family...
He is abounding me again...
This isn't what u would have done if he were in my shoes...
I would have stolen him away and killed anyone that broke his amazing heart...

"Just go Joey... As long as I'm here you won't have to worry about me..." I spit bitterly.
He wraps his large arms around me.
His warmth brings me back to times where he would hold me together after my father had his rounds.
He never knew, but he helped me through all the rape.
He made sure I never did anything.
Now he is leaving me again like he did before.
Abandoning me with a monster...

"You have to see it's for the best Noel..." He cries laying his head on my shoulder.
I shake my head pushing him away.
I finally look up into his eyes with tears in my own.
Reaching up with a shaky hand I wipe his tears as my own fell.

"Once again you are abandoning me with someone who only hurts me..." I say as I sob escaped.
He looked like he had been slapped.
I take his hand and direct him to the door and stop him in the hallway.
He looks back at me with the most broken look he had ever given me.
I close my eyes and close the door.