Loves a Fight

Chapter LV Kains P.O.V

Noel has been in the hospital for a few days now.
I haven't been to see her since she fell apart infront of my eyes.
When I said I almost gave up on her, her eyes literally died.
The light blew out and she shut down...

She deserves to be mad...
I should have looked everywhere.
If I would have then maybe she wouldn't have been whipped again...
If I would have just fucking looked she might have been saved way fucking faster...

Everything in my house is a mess...
After I left that hospital I trashed everything...
I said I felt like I needed to punch stuff so I did.
Threw furniture and punched walls...
She wouldn't be released for a few more days so I figured I could just clean it up before she came home...
She doesn't live with me anymore though...

No one has come to the house since I left the hospital...
I'm the only one here and I drink away the pain...
I sit in the living room opening bottle after bottle and when they are empty I just fucking through them at the god damned wall...

All that replays in my mind is her pulling her hand out of mine...
How I tried to reach for her and she moved away from me.
Everything just didn't work the way I wanted it to...
I want to blame her for leaving...
If she never would have fucking left then none of this would have happened.
Then I remember she did it for me and I try to see her side...

I know that I can't change the past, but all I want is her in my future.
She is all I see...
Without her there was no future for me...
She was the only thing that mattered to me now.

I could hand the gang to Liam.
Every minute of my day would be devoted to her.
She means the world to me and if she never comes back what would I do?
I thought when my mom and dad died that's as rough as I would get.
The worst pain I would ever feel.
Then I met her...
Everything I ever thought got flipped around and I wouldn't want it any other way...

Suddenly the front door opens and my bloodshot eyes snap to it...
I can't really see very well and I hope whoever it is doesn't start yelling at me for trashing everything...

"Kain..." Her voice calls with a slight edge of fear.
My body freezes and I feel myself beginning to sober up...

"Are you ok?" She asks walking through the glass and stopping in front of me.
I thought she didn't get out for a few more days?

"Kain what happened..." She whispers trying to make me look to her.
What do I say?
Sorry I just lost it after you basically shut me out...

"Talk to me Kain..." She whispers and I finally look up into her forest green eyes.
She looks sad and just shocked...
Again I still don't know what to do about this situation...

"Are you drunk?" She gasps shocked looking to all the broken bottles on the floor.
She sighs and turns away from me.
I want to chase after her, but I just sit and stare at a wall.
She returns after a few minutes and begins to sweep up the shattered glass that covered the entire living room floor.
She just sweeps until the floor is clean and then she needs down to sweep it into a dustpan and then she throws it in the trash.
After that she gets the vacuum and clean the floor again.
Then she attempted to get on her hands and knees, but she couldn't bend over to get on the floor.

I just watched my queen.
They always say a king is only a king with the help of his queen...
She is my queen.
She is my angel...

"Noel..." My voice is course and hollow.
Her eyes snap to mine and she looks like she is trying to understand...
Her head is tilted as she tries to see why I did this...

I stand from the couch and stumble slightly.
Her eyes sadden and she moves closer to me.
I get a foot away from her and stop.
She doesn't love me anymore...