Saving The Gangsta

t w e n t y - t h r e e

a s t r i d 

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She's a Queen with a little bit of savage.

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"Look, you don't know fuck all about me." I snap, and he doesn't even recoil back at my rage.

And that pisses me off even more.

How fucking dare he just stand there and defend himself when he's hurt me.

He had absolutely no right to do that.

I've spent my entire life trying to be alone. Not running in packs. Mainly for myself, because I felt safer. But whether I believed it or not, it was for everyone else as well. So they were safe and protected from the futile situation I was in.

That, and the fact people walk into and out of your life all the time.

Less people means less pain.

"Everything I thought about you fell apart." He admits, quietly. "So you're right. I don't know fuck all about you."

His loyalty with Rebecca will always come before anyone else.

I have to accept that.

"You had no right to hurt me."

"You had no right to lie to me."

I scoff, "What have I lied to you about, Taylor?"

"Everything!" He takes a moment to think it over, the anger in his expression slowly subsiding. "Your parents, your brother, you, me."

"I never told you anything about my family, nor myself so I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you. It is not the same thing." I emphasise, swallowing the lump in my throat. "And with you...I don't know what I feel or what I think. All I know is that a part of me still wants you, for some fucked up reason. It's not about the sex, or the gang, or the dates. It's just you and me. You...You calm the fire in me." I admit.

"Like you melt the coldness." He mumbles, but I catch it.

"Please, Astrid." The shakiness in his voice is prominent, and it tears at my heartstrings. "Just tell me the truth. I'm tired of this."

It takes everything in me to not clutch my hand to my mouth and cover the tears that finally began to appear.

It takes everything in me to not break down completely.

"You want to know who I am?" I ask brokenly, my hands shook with fear as the tears rolled idly down my cheeks.

He nodded his head silently. The wall in his eyes didn't flinch as I fought to keep myself from breaking down.

"I am Alisa Davies." His jaw locked as I spoke the name softly.

"I am Kristin Halls, Isabella Johnstone. Ashley Smith. Or as you most commonly know me, Astrid Cleveland." I listed, keeping my voice quiet.

He flew at me, clutching my throat tightly. I struggled to breathe against his grip. "Who. Are. You?" He spat the words at me, tightening his hold until I could barely breathe.

In that moment, I'm a threat. I'm exactly who he thought I was. A traitor, a liar.

I smiled at him tiredly, welcoming the burning sensation in my throat. "I am the daughter of a King."