Taehyung

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Jungkook's POV:

~Blood everywhere on the floor, my hands trembling while I saw him take his last breath before closing his eyes.

I was crying, screaming, hugging the dead body so close like my life depended on it. Everyone looked at me as if I was crazy. They then snatched him out of my trembling hands, and took him away from me, forever.

I ran to the closest room, locked the door then sat on the floor, sobbing in agony. I couldn't believe I lost him, the pain in my chest was too much to bear. I was tearing myself apart, tugging on my hair so hard while my crying screams echoed through the empty room. ~

"Jungkook, wake up! " I heard a sweet voice calling.

"Wake up Kookie, it's just a nightmare, wake up" I heard the same voice, louder this time, and I finally opened my eyes.

Tears were staining my cheeks, I was trembling so hard and blood was covering my palms, probably because I was digging my nails in them with a lot of force.

That nightmare, that same nightmare, wasn't foreign to me. I used to see it everyday since Taehyung died. The last few months, it became less frequent thanks to the help I was receiving. But here it comes again.

The tears in my eyes didn't seem to stop, even when I woke up, they were still rolling down my face. I kept my head down, not even bothering to look at the person who woke me up, and who was now holding me and stroking my hair to calm me down. Not until he spoke:

"I'm here baby, don't cry" he said with the sweetest voice I've heard in a year. And I froze in place, a soft hand found its way to my cheeks, wiping my tears away.

And with a lot of hesitation, I dared to look up.

And I saw... Him.

Taehyung placed his cold hand on my cheek and stared deeply into my eyes.

"I thought you were dead" I managed to whisper, shock obvious in my voice.

"I am"

I stared at him, not knowing what to say anymore.

He was here, the person I loved the most in this world, was now here.

I don't care if it is a reality or a dream, all what matters now is that I can feel his hand on my cheek, sending warm waves right to my cold heart. It almost melted the thick ice that was freezing my emotions, it almost did.

But just then, he pulled back, took a step backwards, and disappeared.

I reached my hand to catch him while calling his name, but he was no longer there. He faded away, just like a beautiful dream that came to an end. And I couldn't do anything but hold my cold heart and break down in tears.

I am a mess...

____________
•••••••••••••••

The next day, I went to see the psychiatrist. I told her about the nightmare I saw, then how Taehyung was there to hug me and comfort me, and how he disappeared abruptly just afterwards. Tears were brimming in my eyes, and she let out a sigh.

"I see now that seeing another person was a bad and a good idea. " she said and I looked at her with confused eyes.

"And how is that? "

"It was a bad idea, since it obviously brought back your memories of Taehyung, which led you to dream about him, and even hallucinate about him. Which means your situation is getting worst" she said with a sad voice.

"And how is it a good idea then? "

"Well, because it made you feel again. You have tears in your eyes now. Your brain is finally accepting to deal with the pain. And with that, you can face it and get over it. You'll be able to move on with your life. " she said while smiling at me.

"Just remember, Jungkook, pain is a part of our lives. It may seem like it is so much now, but you're strong enough to face it, right? " she said while squeezing my hand.

That's wrong.

It is true, pain only means you're alive. But, too much pain, and you're dead. It is just a matter of degree.

And I am afraid, if I try to face this pain again, it will break me down. That's why my heart shut down in the first place, it was to protect itself from anymore pain.

But I didn't say any of this out loud, I just gave her a short nod.

And then it was time to go back to the campus.


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