Shawn Mendes Imagines

Mental Breakdown/idk what's wrong with me (p4 of my story)

Hello! This is p4 of My Story and it gets pretty emotional, and its quite angsty but hope you like it X

August 27 2017, 9pm - VMAs 2017

Shawn's POV

Its my turn to perform at the VMAs. I've felt weird all day, but I think its nerves.

I go on stage and begin to perform

"I wanna follow where she goes
I think about her and she knows it
I wanna let her take control
'Cause everytime that she gets close, yeah

She pulls me in enough to keep me guessing
And maybe I should stop and start confessing
Confessing, yeah

Oh, I've been shaking
I love it when you go crazy
You take all my inhibitions
Baby, there's nothing holding me back
You take me places that tear up my reputation
Manipulate my decisions
Baby, there's nothing holding me back
There's nothing holding me back
There's nothing holding me back

She says that she's never afraid
Just picture everybody naked
She really doesn't like to wait
Not really into hesitation

Pulls me in enough to keep me guessing
And maybe I should stop and start confessing
Confessing, yeah

Oh, I've been shaking
I love it when you go crazy
You take all my inhibitions
Baby, there's nothing holding me back
You take me places that tear up my reputation
Manipulate my decisions
Baby, there's nothing holding me back
There's nothing holding me back

'Cause if we lost our minds and we took it way too far
I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright
If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark
I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright
'Cause if we lost our minds and we took it way too far
But I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright
If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark
I know we'd be alright, I know we would be alright

Oh, I've been shaking
I love it when you go crazy
You take all my inhibitions
Baby, there's nothing holding me back
You take me places that tear up my reputation
Manipulate my decisions
Baby, there's nothing holding me back
There's nothing holding me back
I feel so free when you're with me, baby
Baby, there's nothing holding me back" the crown begins to cheer, despite my numerous voice cracks as my voice was so exhausted. However I felt so numb and hopeless and I couldn't understand why.

I walk off stage and this instant feeling of stress, sadness and anxiety hits me for the millionth time today - this time its worse. Way worse. I'm crying and I don't know why. I run into my dressing room and sit on the bed in my dressing room, trying my hardest not to cry. Just then, Malia comes in, followed by my mum - she was here to surprise me. The smile on her face instantly disappears when she sees me sobbing.

"Shawn" my mum pulls me into her lap and rocks me, but I can't stop crying.

"M...mum" I manage to whimper out before I begin to cough.

"Here you go." Malia gets me some water with a straw. My mum held the straw near my lips and I took a few sips. Malia sat with me, holding my hand in hers.

"What's the matter sweetie?" My mum asks me, wiping tears from my face.

"I...I don't know" I begin to cry again, not being able to control my emotions.

"Shawn hunny look at me" my mum cups my face and I look her in the eyes. "Its alright. You've had a tough few months with Avo and the tour, you were keeping it all in and it was gonna bubble over at some point." I lay my head on my mum's stomach - this is the place where I felt most safe.

"Its okay to feel like this. Look here." Malia drew a W shape on a piece of paper. "This is life. A few months ago you were here." She pointed to the highest part at the beginning of the W. "Now you are here" she pointed to the lowest part of the W. "But look at this - it goes up, which means that things get better! You can get through this." She plants a kiss on my forehead. "I'll get you some food." Malia then leaves. I'm with my mum and I dig my head into her stomach. She takes her hands through my messy hair and wraps her arms around me protectively.

"If you ever feel like this just speak to me darling. I love you and I hate seeing you like this." My mum tells me, holding me closer to her. "Get to sleep, you're exhausted."

"But I have an interview and..."

"No buts. You need rest. You need it now." She covers me with a blanket and I fall asleep in my mother's arms.

Ayyy this was cute but poor Shawn! He looked so disappointed after his VMA performance. I felt so sorry for him awww!! X