The Vigilante & The Dragon - Book 1 of the Guardians Saga [COMPLETED]

Shopping with Dragons Ch. 11.2

To reward the brothers for training her, Alex decided to take the brothers on the ultimate American experience: shopping at the mall. Since Dr. Dewey was having fits about her taking the brothers out in public, Alex brought him along. She would show him that between their ability to disguise, her dressing them up, and the New Orleans culture of the weird, the brothers would be ignored.

They browsed across Lakeside Mall, without a definite destination in mind. They entered a large department store and wandered aimlessly.

"Alex, what's this?" Cale held up the item in question.

Rile plucked it from Cale's hand and stretched it. "Weird double slingshot."

Alex giggled and shook her head. "That's an artificial breast enlarger.  The human male has an unconscious requirement for a certain minimum breast size before he can notice a female."

"What's the minimum?"

"Depends on the male, but I'm below most men's, fortunately."

Dr. Dewey caught sight of what Cale was holding up and rushed over from the perfume counter where a saleslady was pitching him a pink glass bottle for his wife. "Give me that." He snatched the padded bra away. "You don't wave around lingerie."

"What is the minimum breast size that catches your attention?" he asked Dr. Dewey innocently while Alex laughed.

"What? Alex, what are you telling him now?" Dr. Dewey fussed.

"She was telling me what it was for, something about male attention?"

"Wait, I don't want to know." Dr. Dewey held up a hand.

Cale picked up a girdle.  "What about this?"

Alex's eyes lit with knowledge. "Now that was designed by men to torture women."

Dr. Dewey sighed in exasperation.

"It's the truth," Alex said.

"Please, let us leave the lingerie department before I die of embarrassment," Dr. Dewey pleaded.

"I bet you didn't know that this store was full of torture devices that men invented for women." Alex led Cale to the shoe department.  Rile, sensing a good story, joined them.  "This, for example." She held up a black velvet spike heel. "Not only does this cause extreme pain, but it cripples the woman as well.  Then she can't escape."

"Alex, if you are not purchasing anything, we are leaving," Dr. Dewey said in his stern professor voice.

"Spoilsport," she pouted.

"Yeah," Rile and Cale chimed in.

"All right, Dr. Dewey, I need your advice." Alex had a knowing look in her eye. She swept ahead of them, and they ended up in the men's department. "Now you are a distinguished gentleman. Help me pick out something for the boys to wear to the symphony." Alex had adopted Dr. Dewey's name for the brothers.

"The symphony? You can't take them to the symphony."

"Oh yes I can. Rile, what do you say if someone sees past your disguise?" Alex asked.

It won't happen.

"Haven't you ever heard of plastic surgery and tattoos?" Rile snarled obediently.

"See? Either you help me or let me guess. Which is better?" Alex asked sweetly.

Dr. Dewey sighed. "First, fedoras. They have a nice brim to shield the face. Still, they'll have to take them off inside."

"The lights are dim inside," Alex reminded.

Dr. Dewey shook his head in defeat, sighing and his shoulders slumping. "Fine, next, conservative suits. Very conservative."