HIM

Chapter 31

How many Saturdays ago was I suppose to post this? Don't kill me, just read it!

——-
Chloe
Monday

Today was my first individual session with Dr. Rogers. I was nervous, I could not stop moving in the seat as I waited for him to come out of his office. Although I had met him once before for a session, it did not make me fully comfortable coming back. I had never gone to therapy before, not even when my mother died so this was new to me.

"Chloe?" I heard my name being called to see that Dr Rogers was standing in front of me. I was so lost in my thoughts.

"Oh sorry did not see you come out"

"It's alright. Ready to head in?" He asked with a welcoming smile on his face.

"Sure" I mumbled back to him

"So how have you been?" He said once we settled into his office

"Good" I answered shortly to him

"Just good?"

"Yeah"

"Hmm, did you do anything this past weekend?" Dr. Rogers went on to say

"Ahh I went to the Polo Classic with James sister Amber"

"How was that?"

"It was okay I guess"

"The way you say that makes me think it's more to the story then you're telling me."

"Well .." I started but did not know how to finish

"You can say anything you want. Whatever comes to mind"

"Yeah, I have a hard time trusting people"

"I'm sure after what you experience in such a short amount of time with James. But what makes it so hard to trust people?"

"Just feel like people have alternative motives"

"Why would they have an alternative motive?"

"They just do. I just feel like they are using me for something"

"Does that have anything to do with your relationship with James?"

"Yeah I like trusted him to only find out he used me for a business deal. I would've never thought he would do that. The last guy I was with did the same thing, gained my trust to only betray me"

"I see. But do you understand they are two different people so their motives might not have been the same" He said trying to reason with me

"Yeah but it's the same end result. They gain my trust to only hurt me"

"Let's talk about your first relationship"

"Where should I start?" I asked sarcastically

"The beginning would be fine" Dr Rogers answered before smiling at me

"I was dating a guy name Malcolm since 7th grade. He was really my first love and I had thought we would last longer than our freshman year of high school. But I was wrong, I found out he was having a bet with the high school jocks to sleep with me. I was really mad at myself for almost giving my virginity to him at a party but thank god my cousin Sofia was there to stop me after overhearing one of Malcolm teammates talking about it"

"I can see how that caused you to lose your trust in him"

"Yeah like how could he do that. It was like he was intentionally doing that to hurt me. I had just lost my mother, I wanted him to be there for me but he wasn't" I said finding myself crying as tears fell onto my hands