These Wings Are Made To Fly || Pesy

Chapter 13

Perrie
A whole month had passed. Jesy had spent most of it sleeping her days away. She was too tired to do anything but lie in bed or in the couch, wrapped up in five blankets and sleep. The only time she moved was when she had to use the bathroom.

I had a feeling she didn't have much time left. She was barely human anymore. The poor soul couldn't talk. It took forever for her to say something so simple as "good morning" or "what's the time?". Going for a walk or vacuuming the flat were out of the question. She was incapable of doing everyday-things.

Jesy's headaches had gotten worse. A lot worse. She woke up every night, screaming in pain, begging me to make it stop. And she had epileptic seizures at least once a day. She threw up blood.

And she barely remembered Jade and Leigh-Anne. Everytime they came over to visit us, she'd always look at me with that stupid wondering look in her eyes. And I knew that look meant she had no fucking clue who they were and that she wanted an explanation.

She didn't even remember her own family. Janice, Jade, Joseph and Jonathan were complete strangers to her. Although it hurt them deeply to not be remembered by their daughter and sister, they still called and came over to see how she was doing.

At the moment I was locked up in our bathroom. I sat on the ice cold floor tiles for the last three hours, crying and punching the wall until my knuckles began bleeding. And then I'd done another thing - something I thought I wouldn't do for another four or five years.

I'd written wedding vows.

Jesy had written them too. She'd been working on them for the last two weeks. Jade and Leigh-Anne had helped her. I found the paper in the top drawer in her bedside table late one night. I only read the first sentence, but it was enough to make me cry.

I promise to always be by your side, it said.

Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw the words. Everytime Jesy held my hand or we cuddled on the couch, I thought of what she'd written. For most people, those words would be comforting to hear, but those words were not comforting for me. Not for one bit.

They had a whole different meaning now that the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with was dying.

She wouldn't be by my side a month from now. She'd be buried six feet under the ground. A month from now, I would wake up alone. I'd go to sleep alone, too. Her side of the bed would be empty.

We wouldn't get our always.

Nothing could change that. My Jesy was going to die. The Grim Reaper would come and collect her. He'd take her away from me, from everyone who loved her. There was nothing I, Jade or Leigh-Anne could do to change the ending. We wanted to re-write it, make it happy, but it wasn't possible to do so.

"Pez, are you okay? You've been in there for a long time."

Leigh-Anne sounded as if she'd been crying. It wouldn't surprise me if she had. She was the most emotional one in the group. A teddybear and a box of chocolate could make her cry. Even a picture of Hatchi or Harvey brought tears to her eyes.

Standing up, I unlocked and opened the door. A faint smile appeared on Leigh-Anne's face when she saw me. But it faltered and faded away almost instantly. Worry mixed with sadness swirled in her dark brown eyes. Her lower lip quivered.

The High Wycombe-girl wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me in for a hug. Biting my lip in an attempt to stop myself from sobbing, I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck as I wrapped my arms around her fit body.

For a good ten minutes or so, we held each other tight. Leigh-Anne stroked my back, told me I didn't have to worry about anything because she'd always be by my side. As I stood there, safe in her arms, I felt so incredibly grateful for having such a kindhearted friend and bandmate in my life.