These Wings Are Made To Fly || Pesy

Chapter 14

Perrie
It was half past nine in the morning. The four of us sat on the comfortable living room couch, dressed in our matching Harry Potter pyjamas. Harvey rested in Leigh-Anne's lap while Hatchi attempted to get Jesy's attention by licking her face.

The Pomeranian didn't get any attention from her, though. She was tired, too weak to do anything but lie still. Hatchi stopped licking her face when he realized she wouldn't pat him. He placed himself in Jade's lap, positioned himself so he could keep his eyes on the very sick woman I held in my arms.

Leigh-Anne, Jade and I had just professed our love for the faux ginger, done everything we could to lighten up the heavy atmosphere in the living room by sharing our favourite moments together.

Jesy lied in my arms, rested her head on my chest. Her eyes were closed, mouth slightly open. She was barely breathing. Each breath slipping from her lips was one breath closer to the last.

My fingers were intertwined with hers. We rested our hands on her barely rising and falling chest, right where her heart was located. Beneath our hands, I felt her heartbeat slow down.

Thump, thump, thump.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, left wet traces on my pale skin. In my chest, my heart was breaking. Every part of me hurt. It felt as if someone had stabbed me in the heart and twisted around the knife several times.

Watching the love of my life fade away was more painful than I thought it would be. I knew her time was close, I expected her to die within the next few days, I'd prepared myself for her death since Doctor Manning and Doctor Halstead diagnosed her with the stage 4 Glioblastoma a month ago.

But you could never prepare yourself for losing your other half. You could never prepare yourself for a loved one's death. Because no matter how long you'd prepared yourself for the dreaded moment, it'd come as a shock once they were gone.

"I love you so much, baby. I want you to know that you've made my life absolutely incredible. You've made these last five and a half years the best years of my life. And you've taught me how to love again, that it's possible to fall in love even after your heart's been broken. I'm so thankful that I got the chance to get to know you, to chase and live my dream with you. You are my world and I can guarantee you that I'll never forget you. I'll carry you in my heart, think of you everytime our song plays, speak my mind in interviews instead of holding back due to the fear of what people thinks. Like I promised you last night, I'm going to love and cherish you until I am no longer breathing. You are the love of my life and there is no risk that I'll ever stop loving you. I love you, Jesy, I love you so much. Please, never forget that."

With tears streaming down my face, I pressed my lips against her cool forehead. My whole body was shaking as I memorized what it felt like to have my lips on her skin. I'd hoped for so long that I would never have to memorize such a thing, but now that I was doing it due to my fiancée slowly dying...it was too much for me.

Detaching my lips from her cool forehead, a blood-curdling scream slipped from my lips. I rested my chin on top of Jesy's head, rocked her back and forth as I cried like a mother whose child just had died.

"Perrie..." Jesy whimpered.

Calming down at the sound of her voice, I leaned back to look down on her. A sad smile spread across my face when I saw she had opened her eyes.

It pained me to see how lifeless they were. Her eyes used to be lively, energetic, colourful. There used to be stars in them. Now, they were drained of all their life, drained of all their colour.

She looked so tired. It was clear as day that it was a struggle for her to keep her eyes open. I admired her for not closing them although she wanted to.

And it hurt me dearly when it hit me that maybe she fought to keep her eyes open because she knew she would never see me or Jade or Leigh-Anne again if she closed them.

"I...love...you...too" she said weakly.

Using every ounce of energy in her body, she lifted up her arm and wiped away the tears from my face. My broken heart swelled up with love for the faux ginger. She was so sweet.

"Where...are...Leigh...Anne...and...Jade?" Jesy asked.

"Right here, sweetie" Jade cooed.

Jade and Leigh-Anne moved from their spot on the couch and sat down on the floor just so Jesy could see them better. Reaching out her free hand, the two women grabbed ahold of it, squeezing it gently.

"Thank...you...for...everything."

After the words left the sick Little Mix-member's mouth, her body shut down completely. Her eyes fluttered closed as her tight grip of our hands loosened up.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay for you to leave" I cried.

She had fought long and hard. She held on longer than necessary. Although it was killing me to see her like this, to see her fade away, I knew I couldn't hold her back any longer, knew I had to allow her to let go.

I was proud of her for fighting the malignant brain tumor that made her life a living hell even though she knew she'd lose the battle in the end. Not everyone had the will to do that. Most people would've just given up the moment they were told they had incurable cancer. But not my Jesy. She was a fighter.

But now she had fought enough. She didn't have the power to fight anymore. And that was okay. She could let go, leave this life behind, whenever she was ready. I wouldn't hold her back, wouldn't try to convince her to keep fighting.

There was no point in doing that anyway. Jesy had already lost the battle. Nothing would change that.

"You can let go, baby. You've been so, so brave. Me and the girls will be okay, we'll have each other, so don't worry about us. You don't have to hold on any longer, you can leave whenever you want to. Please, never forget we love you, okay? We'll always love you" I cooed.

I rocked her back and forth, cried as I did so. This hurt a lot more than I ever could have imagined. Leigh-Anne and Jade held onto Jesy's hand, refused to let it go. As they cried, they told the faux ginger they loved her and that they'd miss her.

Two more breaths slipped from the sick woman's lips, then her chest stopped rising and falling and she stopped breathing. Beneath our intertwined hands, I felt her heart beat slower and slower and slower.

Thump...thump...thump.

Her heart beat for the last time, then it stopped. Now there was nothing that kept her alive anymore. She'd ceased to exist.

Jesy looked like she was sleeping. She looked...peaceful, like she wasn't hurting anymore. And I hoped she wasn't hurting, hoped she was free from pain.

"Oh God, I miss you" Jade sobbed.

Jade and Leigh-Anne buried their faces into the faux ginger's chest. They cried hysterically, screamed at her to wake up, and clutched onto her lifeless body as if their lives depended on it.

With tears streaming down my face, I ran my hand through my fiancée's soft yet lifeless hair. She loved when I did that. And I kept telling myself she felt it, that she felt my fingers through her hair, even though I knew she didn't.

Jesy was gone. She was dead. The stage 4 Glioblastoma ripped her away from us at last.

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How are you guys feeling? Are you okay? Personally I am a sobbing mess and my heart is broken 😭😭😭

xxMxx