Lost and Found

Chapter Eleven

Nick's POV

Rosalee and Monroe worked together to make funeral arrangements. We didn't have a body, but we didn't need one to pay our respects to someone we all loved.

I remembered this one time I was talking to Trubel about some of the artifacts in the trailer - back when the trailer still existed.

"I mean, this stuff is cool, but I don't know why your aunt didn't dump some of it," Trubel said.

"What are you talking about? This is our history," I said, grinning and gesturing to the random objects lying on all the tables and shelves.

"No, it's not," she said, rolling her eyes. "This is." She said, holding up one of the books and pointing to the words that were on it. "It doesn't matter what we have," she said. "It's what we do and the relationships we have." Trubel picked up an hourglass, a shell, a rock, and a candle. All of it was crowding in small, useless piles on the desk. "We don't need this garbage."

She threw her handful of random objects in the small trash can we kept in the trailer.

We didn't need a body. Even Trubel would agree with us.

I was going to miss her until the day I died, the day I joined her wherever she was.

Monroe called me one day to ask what color of flowers to order for a bouquet. He was torn between blue and red because there weren't any black flowers. I told him to get purple ones. Purple was Trubel's favorite color. I was the only one she told, and she threatened me so I wouldn't tell anyone else. She was worried people would think it was cute or girly.

I bought a grave plot next to Aunt Marie's. In another life, I think Aunt Marie and Trubel would have been friends. Maybe they were together right now...

I didn't know.

I couldn't think.

I tried to channel my loss and sadness into rage. It wasn't hard after a while. 

While Monroe and Rosalee prepared the funeral, I was with Hank and Wu trying to track down the 7th Street Savages. We were coming up empty until we heard there was another case.

The day after Trubel's murder, two people known to be members of the gang, the North End Crew, were found murdered in an alley. There was a witness that was blinded with spray paint. He was in the hospital and we couldn't get him to talk. Even after I told him we wanted 7th Street wiped out, he was still too scared to tell us anything. 7th Street must have been bigger and badder than what I remembered.

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Nick's POV

It was the day of the ceremony. I stood in front of Trubel's headstone, holding her bouquet of purple flowers.

Adalind, Eve, Monroe, Rosalee, Josh, Bud, Hank, and Wu were gathered behind me in a black-clothed group. We were all going to give speeches, and I was up first.

I wasn't sure where to start. Or if I even could start. 

"This wasn't supposed to happen," I began, already choked up. I cleared my throat and blinked to keep tears from spilling over. I made myself keep going. I wasn't done. "Trubel," I said, looking up at the sky rather than up at the ground where her headstone rested.

"Our first meeting was a little rough. You almost lopped off Monroe's head, punched my face in, and headbutted me in the back of a cop car," I was laughing and crying at the memories. They would have been funny memories of her, except I knew there would never be more. I kept talking. "It was rough, but I'm so grateful it happened. You said I saved your life, but I never had the chance to tell you that you saved mine. You were always smarter, and braver, and better than I was, and even now that you're gone, I can't imagine my life without you. I don't know what I'm going to do," I said and a sob escaped my throat. I tried to turn it into a cough to conceal how weak I felt. I took a deep breath and couldn't help thinking that it felt like I was drowning. "I want to thank you for always having my back," I said sadly. "And I want to thank you for sharing this wild, magical life with me. You know, after everything, it's hard for me to believe that there isn't an afterlife. I can't help thinking that there has to be more out there because someone like you could never just be gone... In some ways, I just want to convince myself that you're still here... somehow..." I felt the hot tears spilling over and dripping down my face. I wiped them away quickly before anyone could see. The world felt so cold and empty. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. This is my fault," I admitted brokenly. "And I'm so sorry." I rested my bouquet of flowers in front of her headstone. "I love you, cuz," I said. Another sob ripped its way through my chest. It felt like getting stabbed. I turned around and walked towards the open arms of my family.