Be My Bad Boy ≽ Solby

≽p a r t f i v e

trigger warning; suicide {attempt} in this chapter. I will tell you when it starts and when it ends so you can skip it.

≽

Colby continued to foot the grass. He felt the stare of Sam on him, which unnerved him slightly. He glanced up slightly, his eyes traveling down the popular kid. He never had time to see him through. His shining blue eyes, his shortness, Sam is absolute adorable despite the fact he was a rebel.

Colby hitched a sigh, He couldn't hide it from himself anymore. He knew he had feelings for Sam, he was just oppressing them. He drew his head upwards, seeing Sam's shocked expression.

"You okay?" Inquired Colby, tilting his head to one side.

Sam shook his head to relief him from his daze, "What? Yeah, I am fine."

The brunette nodded, returning his head to look down. He glanced at his sleeves, sighing slightly. He knew he should tell Sam, but wasn't sure if he would make fun of him for it. Colby glanced upwards, watching as he tapped his foot to a mysterious beat, mouthing a song.

Gah, I don't know if I'll be able to talk to him, Colby thought, footing the grass again. I don't know how to start a conversation.

"So uhm," it took him by surprise as he found courage to talk, "tell me about yourself, Sam. Tell me your history for say."

"Not much to say," he begun, "Oldest in a family of tree. A younger brother and a younger sister. Being the oldest, it's a lot of responsibility. It also sucks because I feel left out a lot. I can't tell my family something I've wanted to for a long time, but I cant.. I cannot find the courage to...." Sam trailed off, looking into the distance.

"And that bit of information is?"

"Im bisexual," Sam admitted, tears swelling in his eyes which took Colby by surprised, "and I'm terrified of telling my parents, growing up in a religious family."

Colby straightened himself out, "Listen to me, Sam."

"What's up?"

"I am a closeted gay," he begun, "for one reason. I told my parents. They kicked me out for it, but not after telling me I am worthless and that they wished I'd burn in hell. I live with my grandparents who don't know I am gay." Sam opened his mouth to give his input. "I am not done." He watched as Sam closed his mouth.

"I then got too comfortable with my friends. I told them I was gay.. Boy, did I make a mistake. After that, I started being make fun of. I was an outcast. Bullied, told I should kill myself, etc., etc., and then I moved here. I was terrified to move here, but I told myself that I would find people that would accept me, and I see you, Ace, Zy, and Swift possibly will since you just told me you were bisexual, I think I found my escape.."

Sam's shocked expression told Colby everything.

"C-Colby.."

He held up one hand, silencing the blonde. "Save your pity. I've heard it all, especially when I was lying in a hospital bed, slowing dying of an overdose." He instantly covered his mouth.

"What?" Sam inquired, walking forward. "What was that?"

Tears swelled in the brunette's eyes, reliving a memory he tried to forget. A flashback came to his mind before he could stop it.

~flashback~

warning; suicide {attempt} in this part. keep scrolling if you want to skip it. i'll tell you when its over

Colby sucked in a breath, holding in front of him his anti-depressants. Today was the day he was gonna do it.. He glanced around the room, making sure the door was locked. Perfect. Nodding, he looked back at his medication. If he runs out of anti-depressants, he has his anxiety relief medication as well. Along with two water bottles. He knew today he was gonna kill himself.

Colby's heart started beating. He's tried doing this before, but failed every time. He couldn't ever bring himself to do this, but today he would. Colby wasn't scared anymore. He unscrewed the lid on the medication, pouring it in his hand. Five anti-depressants. Five anxiety relief medication should do it. He reached for the medication, unscrewing the lid. He poured out five small pills in his hand. Ten pills in total. This should be enough to kill him.

Colby unscrewed the lid on the water bottle, bringing the pills to his mouth. He closed his eyes, opening his mouth. He plopped in the pills, bringing the water to his lips. Tears fell down his face as the liquid slid in his throat, forcing the pills down one by one until all were gone. Colby opened his eyes, the world around him was spinning. He dropped the water, standing up. He felt physically sick, high, and drunk at the same time. Colby slammed into the wall, knocking himself out..

~flashback over~

the suicide {attempt} is now over, you may pick back up.

Colby's breathing increased as the memory faded again. Tears fell down his face, hot tears. He tried so hard to forget the memory, but it haunted him.

"Colby?" Sam's voice was distorted in Colby's mind. "Colby! Are you okay?!"

He barely manage to shake his head. He was losing his balance as he tried to stand. His arms flared for something to grip to regain his balance. Colby soon enough fell, landing in the comfort of Sam's arms.

Did he care? No, all he needed was comfort and warmth while he waited for the anxiety attack to pass.

And it seems that Sam understood the brunette's panic for he embraced Colby in a warm hug, placing his head on Sam's.

Tears slipped from Colby's eyes onto Sam's shirt as he shrunk into him.

"I-I am sorry, Sam-" Colby begun to apologise, but was cut off by Sam.

"Shh, don't apologise," cooed Sam, "don't talk, everything will be alright."

Colby shut his mouth, closing his eyes. He rested his head in the crook of Sam's neck, letting the tears slip.

And that's when Colby knew he truly liked Samuel Golbach..