Bite me, Alpha

Chapter Fourteen

I descended back upstairs towards my room with a new set of mind, feeling happy and at peace after talking with my mother about some issue's but other's seem to be a whole other thing, knowing the only person who can get me my answers will be Xavier, knowing that he is the only one to be able to give me a clear view on it all. I felt numb and anxious when i thought of all the ways things could go wrong. I second guess everything compared to before. My mind racing back to before i knew about Xavier and i.

I pushed my bedroom door open and leaned against it as it slammed shut behind my body, wanting my mind to stop with all the theories. Wanting it to stop saying the word rejection because it won't happen. My wolf crying out making my mark hurt even more than it already does, the stinging on my neck not giving in.

Sliding down my door as i stared out at the room, i knew it was my room but it did not feel like it anymore. The smell made me turn my nose up as it wasn't Xavier's scent. It was not Xavier's room. I felt like i did not belong here anymore and it teared me up because i did not feel i belonged at Xavier's either, that i felt out of place. That i cause all the problems because i am stubborn and hot heated like him. I felt out of place for pushing against him whenever he acted possessive, acting like i was a book that he owned instead of his mate.

I wanted to be equal with him.

I wanted us to get along.

I wanted him to stop being so hot headed.

I wanted him to listen.

Xavier Larks is an Alpha and that Alpha can bite me.

I rubbed my hands over my face as a deep breath left my lips before i cupped over my cheeks as i stared out at my bed, knowing i should probably try to sleep as it was pretty late by now however there was no point. I would not be able to sleep, i would not be able to shut my eyes and wake up the next day all refreshed. Instead i would toss and turn all night because i was a stubborn ass and did not want to sleep next to my mate. 

I opened my mind link but it was silent, none of my barrier's was trying to be brought down. There was no one screaming finally at me, it was silent. Xavier had stopped trying to get through, he was finally done and that frightened me more than when he was angry, more scared than when he looked at me emotionless. I know i asked for him to leave me alone for a while but he never listens so why now is he finally taking my advice? Is he done trying because i'm a flight risk at times.

My lips trembled at the thought that this time i pushed it too far, far enough that we won't recover from this. The point we have got to is suddenly no return. 'What do you want me to do?'  I asked my wolf, needing to hear her what she needs. Needing to know if his wolf is still wanting to connect to us, to see if the bond is still there. If she needs me to get up and go there i will, i will sort it out so quickly. I needed someone to guide me to what i am doing, to what i need to do. 

On how to be a real mate to Xavier.

The silence around my head was awkward and deafening. I knew she heard and i could feel her pacing around, trying to register my words carefully. Trying to come with a conclusion on how to answer me with setting me off, i stood back up and walked over to my clothes as i waited. Waiting for either my wolf to answer or Xavier to check my link is open, waiting to see if he does want to see if i will come to him, to see if i still want to even though i did. My pride would not let me mind link him.

'It doesn't feel like it but i can't get hold of his wolf. We need a long run' My wolf finally answered, making my head look up straight away as i felt the urge in her tone. I swallowed harshly as i did not know what that meant. Was he blocking us off because he was extremely pissed because i needed time? Because i left or did he just shut everyone off as well? I didn't know who to communicate to ask or what to ask. I wanted to know he was okay but i didn't know how to be caring.