Crazy Affair

Mourn

I couldn't sleep. 

I couldn't think.

Couldn't even sit still too long before I start to think of him; think of all the things that he could have been. I had promised him that when my life was calm enough I would leave and he would come with me. I had promised him and because of them, my promise was broken. He was only eighteen, too young to think about dying. 

Two weeks had passed since Florde was killed so easily without anyone caring but it felt like it was just a minute ago. Blood from that day was still on my skin thanks to the monsters not allowing me to have a bath. Were they really the monsters in the situation, the more I thought of it the more I blamed myself and I had no reason to stop. 

The blood on my hands was building up as the number of times I had been tortured went up with it.

They had a strict schedule from when I came out of my cage to when I went back and how much blood and tears I lose each day. I got the riddim of their ways in five days, at exactly six in the morning they wake me up and torture for an exact hour and a half, they put me back in the cage and every two hours I'm taken out and tortured until one the next day. I get five hours of sleep and if I had a choice I would wish to never sleep; from dreams to Florde dying in my arms from a single bullet wound to the head to these people finding Ryan and doing what they did to Florde to him. 

Every few days they would ask me questions about Ryan and where he was and I would ignore them which earned me an extra effort of beatings. I couldn't just blurt out where Ryan was, Florde died to protect that bastard and I might die to do the same. Ryan wasn't the only one at stake, Vee, Tony, their mother, their father and who knows who else was at risk. My life was a never-ending hell and I wanted it to end, I wanted it all to stop.

First, it started with me giving my life up to Alfonso, who I was still married too, then me giving my life up to Ryan to save my father's mafia and then me giving my life up to save Ryan's mafia. I was just treating my life like a game but I couldn't restart my life, I could end it but why? There were people who treated me like a prized collection, my brothers, my father and my friends. My mother was looking down at me right now and she was indeed shaking her head. 

The few memories I had of her would always be of her telling me to keep on going and I would keep on going for her and now for Florde. 

Today was different and I picked up on that early on in the day. Instead of waking me up six they came for me eight, and they didn't look very happy. Their sour mood showed up on my body five minutes later as they beat me with senseless with multiple items that were laying around the big white room they had me in. One of the men explained why they had me in a white room once; it was for their pleasure of seeing my blood platter to the floor as they beat me. 

They didn't beat me to the point where I had seven broken ribs and was blacking out every two seconds but just enough that I was spitting blood every two seconds and my body ached. Today was different, they beat me till I passed out and I things dig into my skin as they stabbed and injected me with things I didn't know, hurting too much to care about what they were. After they were done they pulled me into a dark room filled with cleaning items such as bleach and Windex but at the far corner of the room stood a man who I might never forget.

 The man who took me and then killed Florde stood in front of me with no mercy in his eyes. His gons surround him like baby ducklings following their mother; the man looked older than he did before, having more grey hair than I remembered. In the back of my mind, I cursed him with every Italian curse word I was taught and because I ran out of Italian curse words I started to say them in English and when I ran out of those I'd use the few that I've heard my father say.