No Pain: Book 1

Chapter 36: Star

          Keller yawns and kicks the door shut and slips her shoes off and changes into one of Kader's shirts and Kader strips down to his boxers without the slightest hint of shame and climbs into bed with Keller. I go to the bathroom to change and when I come out Najee is in a pair of sweats and a black t-shirt.

Najee and I climb into the other bed but we're not wrapped up in each other like Kader and Keller are. It's not like Najee and I have never slept in the same bed before, but that was different, we were just friends and there was nothing to it. Now, we're supposed to be a thing, we're supposed to be like Keller and Kader and that doesn't feel right. I know fifteen different ways to kill a man three times my size with just my hands. I know how to disable three different kinds of bombs. I can speak four different languages and sign in three. I don't know how to be with someone, not even Najee.

"Night, John." I say turning onto my side as John settles into the chair.

"Goodnight, Najee." I whisper pulling myself into a ball. Najee's arm slides around me and he pulls me against him, his body curls over me and his legs around me. I fit perfectly against his chest.

"Goodnight...Shooting Star." He whispers placing a kiss on top of my head. I know there's an intense blush spreading over my face. I reach over to click the light off, but it's just out of my reach. Najee reaches over me and hits the switch for me.

***

I don't fall to sleep immediately. I don't want to miss anything. I glance behind me at Najee sleeping. He has a really soft snore accompanying his breath. His arm tightens around me when I move. I look over him at Keller and Kader. Keller has claimed most of the bed, spreading diagonally across the bed with half her body on Kader's Torso, her arms wrapped firmly around him. Kader is sleeping on his back, he has one arm wrapped around Keller and the other tucked behind his head.

"Can't sleep?" John asks from his chair.

"It's not that." I sit up as best I can to get a better look at him. "It's just..." I take a look around the room "For as skilled as we are, and for the things we have to do. The serious nature of our jobs..." I look at Keller and Kader again. They look like any other set of teenagers, completely consumed by their love for each other, spending every second together. "We're still just kids... we still just want a minute to relax and talk and have fun and find..." I trail off because I don't think I can actually say something that cheesy.

"Find love?" John offers, it doesn't sound cheesy when he says it, it sounds more like a statement of fact.

"Yeah." I sigh, it doesn't sound bad when he says it but I know I'm blushing and I'm glad that it's dark because he can't see the blush and he can't see it in my eyes.

"You're still a person, Star." John says "all of you are. There's nothing wrong with wanting normalcy. There's nothing wrong with wondering what your life would have been like if you hadn't been born with your abnormality."

I freeze. "Why would you bring that up?"

"Star." John says gently "I'm a soul reader, it took me a minute to figure out what I was seeing but I know what I see, Star."

"You haven't said anything to Najee, have you?" I ask, "I don't want him to think I regret meeting him."

"Star, I'm not an idiot." John shakes his head. I wish I could see his face better.

"I knew you wouldn't want them to know. Although, there's nothing wrong with thinking that. Keller feels the same way sometimes. She feels out of place, she over compensates with her loud and overconfident behavior."

"Keller?" I ask in disbelief "no, Keller is...Keller." I say, there's no way else to put it.

"Most people like her have a lot of insecurities. It's not that she's not confident or brave. She just pushes those characteristics ahead of the others she has." John clarifies.

"You can hold your tongue." I say remembering dinner.

He smirks a little "sometimes yes, other times no." He says honestly. Najee groans and pulls me closer.

"Star..." Najee breaths. I know I'm blushing again. Najee tucks me under his arm. I want to hit him because I'm embarrassed but I also don't want to because he's sleeping, and he didn't do it on purpose.

"Get some sleep." John says softly "before we wake them up."

"John...." I say into the dark.

"Yeah, Star?" He asks stifling a yawn.

"Thank you for staying one more night." I curl into Najee. "I know Najee misses you."

"I miss him too, Star." John's voice is filled with his sadness.

"Goodnight, John." I pull the blankets up over Najee and me. I'm still embarrassed, knowing John is still awake and knowing that everyone here knows about Najee and me now but it doesn't matter because this will be it. This will be the extent of my relationship with Najee. This will be the last time I have to spend with Keller and all her crazy bossiness and Kader with his immature jokes and obnoxious personality.

I will miss my friends for all of their best traits; bravery, compassion, fearlessness but I'll miss them even more for their most obnoxious traits. Kader just being Kader, Keller for her desire to 'bring me out of my shell' and Najee for our previously platonic relationship because we don't have our lives to just be with each other with no complications anymore. I turn over to face Najee and burrow into his chest.

"I love you, Najee." I whisper so softly I can barely hear it. I press a light kiss to his bottom lip.