Afraid of Falling - Logince & Logicality

Chapter Eight

I shuffled aimlessly about my house. Life without Roman was just... dull. I missed his creative whimsy. Missed his angelic voice. Missed the way the golden flecks in his eyes would sparkle like honey in a pool of melted chocolate.

"Oh Roman..." I muttered, tears pooling in my eyes threatening to spill. My heart burned, as if a glowing red knife was being dragged through it. I dimly recognized my doorbell and trudged to the door. Opening it and peering into the bright afternoon sunlight, I saw Thomas. With a big smile on his face, he greeted me.

"Hey, Logan! I brought Crofter's Jam," he said, waving the jar of deliciousness in front of me, tantalizingly close. I dithered about whether to let him in, but Thomas made the choice for me, pushing past and inviting himself in.

"Thomas, what the hell," I grumbled.

"I noticed you were feeling a little down, so I wanted to try and help!"

"You can't help."

"If you just let me try-"

"No, Thomas! I don't want your 'help'," I barked, making air quotes. "So please, just... leave." Thomas' face fell.

"I-I'll see you later Logan," he muttered, turning to leave. "Oh, I almost forgot," Thomas said, holding up the Crofter's jar. "I'll... put this here I guess..." I stared at the jar, the red jelly inside glistening in the sun. It shook a little as the door closed.

* * *

The next day, my doorbell rang again. I groaned and went to answer it, opening it to reveal Virgil.

"Hey, Logan...?" His voice trailed off in an unspoken question of how I was. I grunted in response, backing away from the door, allowing him in. Virgil peered around my kitchen, taking in the towering pile of dirty dishes and my overflowing trash can.

"So, how was your New Year?" Virgil asked, trying to start a conversation. 2018 had started two days ago and I had spent the night staring at my ceiling in bed.

"Well, how do you think it went?" I asked sarcastically. "I heard tons of stories of friends who had their midnight kiss while I sat alone wallowing in a pit of grief and regret. So that was fun," I spat bitterly, making sarcastic jazz hands. Virgil's eyes widened, taken aback by my response. He opened his mouth to respond but I cut him off before he could say a word. "Look, Virgil, I really don't want to be part of your pity party. So please just leave," I growled, turning my back to him.

"No." I spun, anger laced into my voice.

"Excuse me?"

"I told you, no. I'm not leaving. Logan, you can't keep pushing us away!" Virgil exclaimed. "We are trying to help but you won't let us. And-" he paused, as if considering his next words. "If you keep shoving us away... we might not keep coming back."

"Maybe I don't want you to come back," I seethed, tears misting in my eyes, threatening to fall. "Now get out of my house," I growled, marching up my stairs. I didn't see him leave. Only heard my door slamming, the sound echoing down my lonely halls.